On This Date in 1998

I woke up at 4:30 this morning to the sound of rain, which has continued unabated throughout the day. It’s not a drizzle, but a steady, drenching rain that has plenty of dry earth to soak into. Up until yesterday evening, the texture of our back yard resembled concrete. I could have cut a two-inch-square chunk of soil out of the ground, thrown it against a hard surface, and watched it shatter into a million pieces. The hardness of the soil and the lack of precipitation – it’s been very dry here during the past month – has resulted in a slowdown of the lawn repair I initiated earlier this year. I’m still trying to get the grass to bounce back from the trampling it received during our Bastille Day party. Only a couple additional efforts at reseeding and a daily watering has kept a section of the back yard from returning to the big, ugly patch of bare earth that taunted me at the beginning of spring.

After a call from Eddie’s teacher and a visit to his pediatrician last Friday, JoAnna and I decided to have Eddie take the drug Ritalin as a way to control his behavior. He’s already been sent to the principal’s office twice this year, and I’ve had two phone conversations with Mrs. Magnuson, his teacher, about how things have been going in the classroom. She reports that Eddie has had good days and bad days, occurring in no predictable pattern. On bad days, he cannot control his impulses. On Friday during recess he hit someone with a stick. Rom her perspective, Mrs. Magnuson did not think it was deliberately malicious. His teacher is also concerned about Eddie missing a lot of work at school due to his inability to focus. He finds, as she phrased it, a lot of things stimulating in the environment. In other words, he’s easily distracted.

JoAnna and I are starting to see more frequent examples of Eddie’s impulsiveness, his ability to become easily frustrated, and his contrariness at home. At soccer practice, too. When I picked him up Sunday evening, I learned that he had refused to run a lap with the rest of his team at the conclusion of the practice.

If you recall, Eddie and his teachers (not just classroom but art, gym, music, as well as his special reading class) participated in a 4-week-long Ritalin blind test this past May. One week he took the drug, the following week a placebo. Only the doctor knew which was which. Based on his review of the results, he said that Ritalin had a very obvious stabilizing effect on Eddie’s behavior. When the doctor asked Eddie is he would mind taking the drug, he answered, “No, ‘cause I won’t get in so much trouble.”

Eddie will start taking Ritalin next week. His teachers will start to keep a record of his behavior this week, which will be used as a base line for measuring any changes that take place during the drug therapy. I hope that this will not turn out to be the long-term solution for Eddie’s difficulties in school. One of the fulltime staff members at the library told me that her son was on Ritalin for 9 years, from 4th grade through high school. I’m hoping that’s not the path that Eddie will have to take. Yesterday I placed a hold on a book that might offer some alternatives to Ritalin: The Myth of the A.D.D. Child: 50 ways to improve your child’s behavior and attention span without drugs, labels, or coercion. It’s not that I’m questioning our pediatrician’s diagnosis. He certainly hasn’t pushed us into taking this route, but I’d still like to investigate the options that might be available to us. At the same time, I won’t be accepting at face value everything I read about the alternatives to drug therapy. A lot of nonsense manages to worm its way into print. It is obvious to the doctor, as well as to JoAnna and me, that Eddie has some ongoing problems that are not related to (or cannot be blamed on) the different personalities of his teachers. The impulsive and other behaviors that Eddie has demonstrated consistently throughout kindergarten, first, and now second grade point to a deeper problem. We’re just thankful that Eddie has been able to maintain a very positive attitude about school. It would be an especially onerous situation if we had to struggle to get Eddie out of the house each morning, if attending school was an activity he was determined to eliminate from his life like a bad dream. Yesterday after I dropped the boys off – rainy day taxi service – I parked the car in the school lot and walked to Eddie’s class to deliver the behavior monitoring form to his teacher. When I returned to the car, I found a mother standing between her van and my car gently coaxing her distraught daughter, who looked to be a first- or second-grader, to leave the passenger’s seat. I caught a glimpse of the girl’s face and saw a mask of sorrow, eyes reddened by crying. The open door of the van was position in such a way that I was unable to get into the driver’s seat of the Saturn. The women immediately noticed this and, closing her door slightly to give me access, said almost apologetically, “We might be here for awhile.” Both Andy and Eddie have always been enthusiastic about attending school. It has sometimes been a struggle getting them off in the morning, but that’s never been a ploy to avoid school.

We celebrated Andy’s birthday yesterday. Meaghan joined us for dinner: lasagna, tossed salad, garlic bread, and a white cake (with those little rainbow color bursts in the batter) with cherry (!) frosting for dessert, a menu selected by the birth boys himself. Andy loves the basketball pants. In fact, he tried on a pair on Saturday afternoon when I took him shopping for new jeans. He was disappointed when I vetoed the purchase, but he was very mature about hearing the word “No” for a change of pace. No whining. No pleading. If he had persisted, I might have blurted out something like, “You can’t get them because that’s what Grandma and Grandpa got you!” But I was able to preserve the element of surprise. We got him a Packer jersey (Antonio Freeman) with a white turtleneck and a long-sleeve navy blue shirt that JoAnna thought would look especially good on him.

In spite of the relentless rain today, Andy’s football practice wasn’t cancelled. I picked up the boys a little bit earlier than usual, their coach not being a sadist. I covered the upholstery of the Saturn with blankets and towels, which was good planning on my part. Otherwise, the interior of the car would have become a disaster area. The boys – Andy, Drew, Cole, and Riley – were thoroughly drenched, a bit muddy (not as much as I expected, fortunately), and slightly chilled, but were in surprisingly high spirits. In spite of the weather, they seemed to have enjoyed themselves. It was a chance to slop around with compunction.

On Saturday evening, JoAnna and I attended a reception at Music Hall on the UW campus, which was followed by a preview of an opera-in-progress, based on a controversial 1954 film that was blacklisted during the McCarthy era. (Neither JoAnna nor I have seen it, but I did place a reserve on the video version that the Madison Public Library owns.) The story deals with the anti-Hispanic racial strife that occurs in a New Mexico zinc mine when union workers organize a strike. Most of the singing is in English, although some of the lyrics are in Spanish. The program was made up of selected scenes from the opera, so the story the audience heard was quite disjointed. The voices of the UW students who made up the cast were outstanding and made the evening worthwhile.

And what about the boys when we were gone? Andy is now our designated babysitter. JoAnna and I were gone from 6:45 until nearly 10:00. When we returned home, everything was as we left it. We told Andy that if everything goes smoothly we would pay him $3 an hour, below the market rate for a regular sitter but not a bad starting rate for someone just shy of his 11th birthday.

On This Date in 1998

The weather has quickly shifted into summer gear. The temperature might hit 90 degrees today. It’s humid, too. A strong breeze kept me from sweltering. I suppose I could have turned on the a-c, but I wanted to experience fully the first real heat of the year.

My shopping trip was for domestic purposes. The boys need new underwear. I like the sock at Shopko; they have a gray, stain-resistant sole. They do hide the dirt a little bit better after they’ve been worn a few times. However, a newer, more important reason for returning to this particular brand is that I now have a sure-fire way to differentiate between Andy’s and my socks. His feet are getting big, almost a size 8, I think.

Another reason for the underwear purchase. While folding a load of laundry this weekend, I found two pairs of Eddie’s underpants with holes in the backside. That’s some strong flatulence.

A busy, mostly sports-oriented weekend. Andy played soccer Friday evening, his team losing 2-0. They just couldn’t work up any offense. JoAnna worked late, so she missed a night out with the boys. We went to Damon’s for dinner and trivia. I let the glutton take over and ordered the special: prime rib and a small rack of bbq ribs. It was indeed a hearty meal, but I’d only eaten two grapefruit for breakfast and a light lunch. I cleared my plate and could have eaten a rich, chocolate dessert, but thought better of it. Andy ordered the chicken strips, and Eddie surprised me by ordering the kids’ portion of ribs. On the game front, although we stumbled a big during our first trivia round, we were in first place by the time we left. JoAnna was home watching TV, special programming on the life and music of Frank Sinatra, unavoidable TV fare this past weekend.

On Saturday, Andy played soccer again at 9 a.m. Eddie had the same starting time, too, the first of three games for him, as he was participating in a tournament involving the first-grade teams. After watching Andy’s games, I dropped him off at home and Joined JoAnna and Eddie. We spent the next four hours at the soccer fields at West Middleton Elementary School. It was a blustery but gorgeously sunny day, with only a few wispy clouds here and there. By the late afternoon, I ended up with a face the color of a boiled lobster – okay, maybe a slight exaggeration – a combination of too much sun and wind. I didn’t complain it felt good to have the heat of the sun embedded into my face.

During the latter half of the afternoon, JoAnna and I tackled some yard work. She planted annuals, and I did some more lawn doctoring in the back yard. That evening we went to a “70s prom night” theme party. We both found “costumes” at this funky clothing store on State Street in Madison. JoAnna bought a long dress with a flowery print design; I got a pair of flared polyester slacks, a cream color, and a  navy long-sleeve western shirt, (snaps instead of buttons, of course) with a subtle pattern of what looked like red and baby-blue brush strokes. Unfortunately, there were no leisure suits in stock. Some friends of ours took pictures; I hope I can get a copy to send to you.

The party was held on the rooftop patio of a 6-story apartment building about a half mile east of the capitol. We had a great view of the Isthmus as well as a breathtaking sunset. There must have been 50-60 people in attendance, everyone easily ten years younger than me. But the crowd included a number of people from JoAnna’s office, and it was a real friendly crowd, a refrigerator full of beer helping bring about that mood.

Sunday was very lowkey. I escorted Andy to a baseball tryout, expecting to see hordes of kids, but they hardly had enough to field a team. While waiting for Andy, Eddie and I flew his kite, a cheap $4 model we bought a couple weeks ago at Target. It was a windy day providing excellent flight conditions. We had fun doing that. Later on, I did some more lawn doctoring, this time in the front yard, and then sacked out in the hammock and dozed off for an hour. Eddie woke me up when supper was ready. The evening included more Sinatra retrospectives on TV.

I started to put together a summer schedule of activities, baseball taking priority this year. JoAnna wants the boys to attend her family reunion this year, which is scheduled for the first weekend in August. That leaves a couple weeks (August 3-16) for the boys to visit. I don’t think I’ll be attending my high school reunion. The timing’s all wrong. Oh well, it wasn’t on my list of thing I absolutely gotta do.

So much for this edition of the news from Middleton. Stay tuned for further bulletins

On This Date in 1998

We received your letter yesterday, Mom, and are happy to hear that you are feeling better.  Glad you enjoyed your Mother’s Day gift.  Since I ordered by phone, calling Ekey’s direct instead of using FTD or Teleflora through a Middleton florist, I have no idea what the arrangement of cut flowers looks like.

I bought JoAnna a necklace, a gold chain with a gold heart and a small stone of blue topaz.  We cooked out Sunday afternoon – chicken teriyaki kabobs, with mushrooms, onion, zucchini, green and red peppers, and tomatoes served on a bed of rice.  Steamed asparagus on the side.  The boys ate chicken and rice; Mom and Dad’s entrees bordered on vegetarian.  We gave up most of our meat since the boys still won’t’ eat their vegetables, at least not the stuff that we prepared.  Eddie will peel himself a carrot every now and then, and both boys will eat a side of peas or corn.  Pretty typical, huh?

Andy had his first baseball practice yesterday evening.  I was working so I wasn’t able to observe it.  The coach has tabbed Andy to be one of the starting pitchers.  On Sunday there are try-outs for a traveling baseball team, and, of course, Andy is interested in that.  It could turn out to be a full summer of baseball.  Eddie has already had two practices.  He’ll be playing in a coach-pitch league this summer.

            
Andy’s soccer team is doing quite well.  They played three games last week, winning two and tying the third.  The tie game was played on Friday evening in Mount Horeb, 10 miles west of here, against their most competitive opponent.  The other team scored a goal on a penalty kick in the last minute of the game.  Both boys have soccer games this evening.  JoAnna’s working, which means I won’t be able to see any of Andy’s game.  His team’s “home” field is 5 miles west of Middleton, at the Sunset Ridge Elementary School.  Eddie usually plays at a field just two blocks from the house.   The field where Andy used to play most of his games the past two seasons, land owned by the city, is being transformed into tennis courts.

            

JoAnna’s expecting to work late tonight.  The Senate Democrats plan to filibuster some cock-eyed bill that the Republicans want to pass.  She checked out a stack of books at the library last night – biographies of Teddy Roosevelt, Abraham Lincoln, George Washington, Andrew Jackson – to help with the effort.  Might as well read something educational as opposed to just spewing hot air.

            

Eddie has become quite the skilled rollerblader.  In fact, he skated to the library yesterday while JoAnna rode her bike.  He’s developed  very good sense of balance, which makes me wonder why he hasn’t been able to master riding a bicycle yet.  Probably because he hasn’t given the latter activity an all-out effort.  Monday evening Andy was pulling him on his bicycle, a version of roller-skating.  I expressed my concern, but didn't forbid the activity – just told them to be careful.  Andy they were.

            

We've had our new member of the family for a week now.  Boxer is a gray-and-white little furball, so tiny when we first got him he easily fit into my cupped hands, although he has definitely grown during the past 7 days.  He’s adjusted to his new surroundings very quickly.  He spent the first few nights with JoAnna and me, but we were both nervous about flattening him as we changed positions during the night.  Friday night it was almost like dealing with a newborn for all the sleep we got.  After that we decided to keep him in the utility room, closing the door so he couldn't escape.  For the past two nights, he has slept on the couch in the family room.  Gaining a sense of independence, I suppose. 

            

Our cat was kept in a box while JoAnna and Eddie drove him from the east side of Madison to Middleton last week.  Hence the name Boxer.  Initially, I thought we should have called him “Birdy”, since his “meow” was more like a “chirp”.  His voice has changed in the week that we've had him.  His coloring is almost evenly divided:  gray on the top (except for a white collar) and white on the bottom.  When I came home for lunch yesterday, I found what looked to be a completely gray cat.  Boxer must have been exploring the furnace area in the utility room, getting his pretty coat all sooty.  I gave him a quick rubdown with a damp washcloth, and JoAnna gave him a more thorough cleaning after she returned home from work.  I hope Boxer learned his lesson.  I suppose if the furnace had been on, the heat would have repelled his curiosity.

            

Boxer really likes his family, although he does seem to be especially partial to the adults.  Yesterday during my lunch, even after I had put a cold cloth to his body, he followed me around the house like a dog, practically begging for attention.  I didn't give him his usual strokes as I was afraid of dirtying the light clothes I was wearing.  Right now he’s playing with my feet, again trying to get my attention, letting out with a “meow” every now and then.   For a little guy, his claws are sharp.  We talked about getting him declawed, something we’d have Meaghan’s dad do since he’s a veterinarian.  I’d hate to come home some day and find that he’s torn up the furniture, especially the nice stuff we have in the living room.  Despite my reservation – the rest of the family had to lobby long and hard to get me to agree to having an animal in the house (I thought the boys were enough!) – I really enjoy having Boxer around.  In fact, we've even talked about getting him a playmate.  Two cats?!  Maybe I’ll have to think about that one a little bit more.

            

How are things going with Dad?  For the past year or so, I have wondered what would happen if he could no longer negotiate the stairs.  Wouldn't you have to move your bedroom downstairs?  That would probably mean transforming the dining room, which I supposed is not the most desirable prospect.  Dad couldn’t be left along during the night, could he?  Do you think at some point you’ll need to hire a nurse or attendant to provide home case on an occasional basis?  At what point would we have to consider a nursing home?  From our last phone conversation, it sounded like Dad took a decided turn for the worse as far as basic motor skills are concerned, which is why all these questions are foremost in my mind.

       

     

You’ll recall that within the past month, I was bemoaning the conditions of the lawn.  My “doctoring” in the back yard has yielded tremendous results.  The large bare spot, the former whiffleball and kickball diamond of summers past, is now a lush green carpet.  Since then I’ve done some patching in the front yard and think that I’ll tackle the entire job myself.  My procedure is to loosen the soil with a rake, spread topsoil, mix in a nitrogen and phosphorous-rich fertilizer, and then sprinkle a liberal amount of grass seed, which is mixed into the soil.   I water on a daily basis, unless it rains, of course.  Now that we have most of our flowers in, the yard has been transformed into something I can be proud of again.  For the past two years, I’ve experienced a major case of the spring blahs when observing the fallow condition of the yard.  That feeling quickly disappears once it comes alive with new plant growth and color.  The yellows and reds of the daffodils and tulips are first.  Then the deepening green of the perennials and grass.  Now the splash of color provided by the annuals we've planted – mostly impatiens, pansies, and coleus.  I just wish we had more time to take in and enjoy the results of all the work we have put into our yard.

            
It’s not even 7 a.m. yet.  I woke up at 3:30 this morning unable to fall back asleep.  Since I felt rested, I decided to get an early start to the day.  I did my Walkfit, read the New York Times, played with Boxer, and have just completed this letter.