On This Date in 1999 (February 21)

What a beating my checkbook took this weekend. Ouch! Since Friday was payday, fortunately, it didn’t make much of a difference to our bottom line.

Andy’s Friday night basketball practice was cancelled. The head coach wasn’t feeling well, and the assistant coach wasn’t available until 6:30, and since the team was playing an 8 a.m. game on Saturday, they decided the practice wasn’t really all that necessary anyway. That gave us a rare Friday evening, at least so far this year, for a family activity. JoAnna suggested going to a movie – October Sky and My Favorite Martian seeming to be the only appropriate family fare – but Eddie vehemently vetoed this idea. In fact, he didn’t want to go anywhere. He can be such a homebody sometimes, content to watch TV or play with his toys or draw. Andy suggested we go out to eat at Damon’s, the “trivia” restaurant, and that was acceptable to everyone, although we did have to do some armtwisting with Eddie. I wasn’t all that hungry, having picked up (pigged out on) a chicken fajita burrito, one of my all-time favorite Mexican entrees from Pasqual’s, during my lunch break. That meal was still resting heavily on my stomach. As a result, I just ordered a sandwich, but Mom and Andy opted for a full meal, grilled salmon and a rack of ribs, respectively. Eddie got the chicken strips kid’s meal. Our efforts at trivia were respectable. We ended up in second place, quite a few points behind the first place team. We faltered on a series of questions that had to do with music of the 90s. At this point of the game, we looked to Andy for guidance, and he was able to answer 2 or 3 questions correctly. (Final monetary damages: $62 with tip.)

Saturday morning started out just like any other weekday. The alarm sounded at 6 a.m. I lay in bed for a few minutes before getting up to exercise. We left the house at 7:15 for Glacier Creek Middle School in Cross Plains, a ten-minute drive. Once again, Eddie whined about not being able to stay home, as he does before every single one of Andy’s basketball games. We let him vent for a minute or two before putting our collective feet down. He’s not ready to stay home alone, even if he is cuter and (usually) more personable than McCauley Culkin.

Middleton played a nonconference team from Sauk Prairie. It was no contest. At the end of the first half, the score was 30-2 in Middleton’s favor. For most of the second half, the scoreboard showed 0-0 – I guess there is a 30-point humiliation rule – and the clock ran continuously, except for time-outs called by the coaches. The final score was somewhere in the neighborhood of 55-12. Actually, this was not the kind of game the kids needed going into a tournament weekend. Next weekend, the four best teams from two leagues will participate in a 3-day Tri-County League tournament.

After the game, we went to the Kiwanis pancake breakfast, which is held each time this year at the spacious parish center at St. Bernard’s Catholic Church. The event seems to be a good fundraiser for this service group. We had to wait in line for 15 minutes before we were served, and the line snaked for 50 feet from the kitchen to the ticket-taker’s table for the entire time we were there. I had bought the tickets in advance, so the meal wasn’t part of the expenditure column for this weekend’s expenses.

As soon as we returned home, I stretched out on the couch in the living room and finished reading The Stone Diaries by Carol Shields, a highly regarded 1993 novel that follows, in ten beautifully written chapters, the life of Daisy Goodwill Flett through birth (in 1905), childhood, marriage, love, motherhood, work, sorrow, east, illness and decline, and death (in 1985). It’s been a very popular choice of book reading groups in the Madison area since it was first published. After JoAnna and Andy returned from their visit to the health club, the family went shopping. Here is where the major dents in my checkbook occurred. First stop: Target. Our purchases included underwear and t-shirts for the boys, sportswear for JoAnna, plus two $1.99 boxes of favorite brands of cereal on sale, a “Battle Squad” toy for Eddie (Dad is such a soft touch), and CDs for Mom – Billy Joel’s Greatest Hits – and Andy – a collection of recent pre-teen favs. (This dad is made of clay! Just mold me.) Total damages: $279.53. 

Actually, we rarely go shopping as a family anymore. Everybody but me needed additions to his or her wardrobes. After Target, we went to Penney’s to get pants and shirts for the boys. Andy’s growing out of his current pairs of JNCO jeans, and Eddie has rips and tears and shredded threads in the right knee – not the left knee, only the right knee; why is that? – of most of his jeans. Andy picked out three pair of baggy jeans, while Eddie selected two pairs of form-fitting jeans. While the boys were trying on these clothes, a mother of a seven-year-old trying on pants complained to me about her son’s choice of style. He emerged from one of the fitting rooms wearing a baggy pair of black jeans with white stitching all over the place. From the look on his face, you could tell that he thought that he was Mr. Cool, but Mom had a different opinion, which she was obviously hesitant to share with him, and I didn’t feel it was my place to confirm. I shared with her the difference between a baggy 11-year-old Andy and a form-fitting 8-year-old Eddie. My philosophy is Let Kids Be Kids, a point of view that requires parents to give their children the space to explore their own individuality.

By the time we got home, we had 15 minutes to get ready for church. After mass, I drove Andy to Verona. During a family conference Friday evening, we agreed that Andy could have a sleepover at Tim’s house. Originally, JoAnna and I had made plans to go out to dinner Saturday evening, which meant that we expected Andy needed to stay home with Eddie. Mom approved the Andy’s sleepover request, forgetting about our previous plans. Although JoAnna was ready to rescind her request, I thought we should give Andy the benefit of the doubt. Why should he be punished for his parents’ mistake? I said. As a result, Eddie accompanied us to Imperial Garden last night. We had dinner with Ted and Dorothy Shannon, 80-year-old friends of ours from Middleton. At first, he wasn’t too happy with this turn of events, especially our choice of restaurant – Chinese -- but he made his parents very proud with his mature behavior during the three hours we spent at the restaurant. Having him bring along his sketchbook and some colored pencils helped to keep him occupied during what he considered the slower stretches of the evening.

The other morning while I was exercising on the Walkfit, SportsCenter spent almost 10 minutes on the Clemens-Wells trade. Everyone thinks the Yankees are going to be even better than last year. But let’s take a closer look at this situation. David Cone: old, in baseball terms, and with a suspect arm. Andy Pettitte: subpar 1998 season; unfulfilled promise; Hideo (?) Irabu: he’s never lived up to the hype that accompanied his rookie season. And Clemens is no spring chicken. Unlike Wells, he’s such a selfish player, someone who won’t add anything to team camaraderie. Personally, I think the Yankees are fooling themselves if they think they’re going to walk through the season to another World Series championship. Steinbrenner and Torre and the rest of the team just don’t realize what a fluke it is to win 125 games in a full season of baseball. This is not the 1950s. What goes up must come down. 

Sunday evening

Andy is at the health club. JoAnna is attending a Renew 2000 meeting, a discussion group associated with St. Bernard’s. Eddie is playing in his newly rearranged bedroom, unknowingly waiting for me to tell him it’s time to take a shower. And then we’ll read for 15 minutes.

But first I want to finish this letter.

Andy played his final regular-season game of the year. Middleton played against a Mount Horeb team from the other Tri-County League of 5th grade teams. From the look of the opponents – some big guys on the team as far as height and/or weight was concerned – I thought our guys would get a run for their money. Once the game was underway, though, it was obviously that Middleton was the more talented and better coached team. Andy played a great game, pulling down his usual share of rebounds and scoring six points on aggressive drives to the basket. He looked to be in playoff form. Middleton won, by the way, 41-27.

After the game, the families gathered at Kit’s Korner, a sports bar located halfway between Mount Horeb and Middleton. The fact that every player and his family showed up was an indication of what a positive experience this basketball season has been for everyone. With video games lining the walls, all the parents were fishing in their pockets or purses for loose quarters. If none of those were available, then dollar bills were extracted from their wallets. One of the moms ordered a sheet cake with all the players and coaches names on it. The two coaches were also presented with gift certificates in appreciation of their many volunteer hours – two practices a week in December and two practices and two games a week throughout January and February.

Once we returned home, we rearranged the furniture in Andy’s bedroom. Now it looks as though he has 50% more space – and 100% neater. The latter condition may not last that long, knowing Andy’s habits. 

I baked a banana bread this morning and just took out the last pan of cookies out of the oven. I made the usual chocolate chip dough, but due to the boys’ fussiness and JoAnna’s Lenten denial, I divided it into three bowls: one with chocolate chips (for the boys), one with peanuts (for JoAnna, since she’s given up chocolate for Lent), and one with both extra ingredients. (I’m not about to deny myself my favorite cookie.) 

Time for me to get Eddie into the shower. I’m also waiting for Andy’s phone call for taxi service from the health club to home. He must be having a good time there. In the meantime, I’ll watch a black-and-white rerun of (“Let’s all play”) What’s My Line?

On This Date in 1998

On Friday, we got an early start to the weekend. JoAnna planned to work the morning and then get her hair done at noon, but her appointment was canceled. I went to the library at my usual time and planned to work until midafternoon. The boys spent the morning at home, watching TV and behaving themselves. JoAnna took the boys to the mall to eat lunch and go shopping. She gave Andy $100 to spend on clothes, which he managed very cautiously, she later told me. He bought two sweat outfits, one black and one gray. (The gray one he immediately soiled with quesadilla “juice” when he interrupted the last of my late lunch.) He also bought another pair of “breakaway” pants. Eddie wasn’t ignored. He picked out a New York Yankees t-shirt. (As a result of the just-completed baseball season, the Yankees are now his favorite team. Eddie goes with the winner!) He also got a new hat and a pair of gloves, and a submarine toy, one that opens up to create a cross-section effect. He played with it all afternoon.



Andy had a sleepover at his friend Tim’s house Friday night. After we dropped him off, JoAnna and Eddie and I went to the movies. We saw Pleasantville, a Back to the Future inspired fantasy about a brother and sister who are zapped back to a Father Knows Best/Leave it to Beaver black-and-white world, which, through their influence, slowly takes on the full spectrum of the rainbow. The story is a clever variation of a well-worn premise, although the second half of the movie did meander a little bit too much for my overall comfort level. Eddie behaved like a little adult. The movie is two hours long, with no dinosaurs or guns, but he stayed with it from start to finish. He didn’t even request a bathroom break!

Saturday morning, both JoAnna and I spent a couple hours tidying and organizing our desk areas, stuffing to their maximum capacity two grocery bags of recyclable paper in the process. Now the writing surface of my rolltop desk is completely bare and dust-free. We spent the late morning and early afternoon watching the Badger game on TV. During halftime, I raked the leaves on the front lawn that Andy missed yesterday. As soon as Andy returned home, right at the beginning of the third quarter, he asked us if he and Eddie could go bowling. We gave them permission. It gave me pause to watch our two no-longer-little boys walk off together. Later in the afternoon, the family went on a shopping spree. JoAnna spent $150 on books at Barnes & Noble. Since I already have enough to read at home, I was the only one who left the store empty-handed. At Best Buy, an electronics store, one of many in Madison’s highly competitive retail marketplace, we bought a new VCR to replace the aging and defective model in the family room. The picture quality of the older one is so bad as to be unviewable. It’s like trying to watch a movie through venetian blinds. Our final stop was Office Max, a “big-box” office supply store, where JoAnna bought a notebook and pocket dividers to store our 1998 personal financial information. I bought Andy a zippered notebook for school. He coveted the one I keep next to my desks. He had to have one just like it. We also bought a cordless phone for the bedroom.



After fixing tacos and burritos for supper, the family settled into an evening of watching movies. JoAnna and I christened our new VCR with Hope Floats, a fluffy romance starring Sandra Bullock and Harry Connick Jr. (The boys watched one of their choices in our bedroom.) What a difference in picture clarity. Watching a video at home is now an enjoyable experience, no longer a chore. Right now the boys and I are watching Godzilla, one of the past summer’s special effects blockbusters. It’s not the type of movie I have to give my full attention. Strictly formula stuff. Best line inspired from the movie. A scene shows a cache of automatic weapons being unpacked. Eddie’s reaction: “Now they’re talking my language.”

The ground was covered with a slight dusting of snow this morning, most of it melted off by now, at 9:39. Andy thought his chore of raking leaves in the back yard could be postponed. Wrong answer! he quickly learned. I plan to do some mulching, so most of the leave won’t have to be transported to the front curb. For the first weekend in November, it actually felt mild outside.



What a change in the political landscape since Tuesday. JoAnna’s hard work resulted in the Democrats regaining the state senate. Tommy Thompson was elected to a fourth term as governor . bit not with the 70% of the vote he was arrogantly predicting earlier in the year. All of the other major statewide offices were won by Dems. And on the national level, who would have guessed that Newt Gingrich would no longer be in Congress by the end of the year? This year, the political pundits were as off the mark and out of touch as they could be. I usually read the op-ed pages for comic relief anyway.

April 11, 1992

Bombed this weekend in 1223 theaters

For the first weekend in months, JoAnna doesn't have to campaign.  Somehow, though, the day can't measure up to my high expectations.  The weather is the biggest culprit.  We had planned to attend the Muskies home opener, but not when the sky is overcast and the temperature struggles to reach 40.  We decide to go shopping, first stopping at the credit union to deposit my Nuts and Bolts check and then at Larry and Martha's to attempt to formulate some plans for the evening.  We stay for a half hour, leave after making very tentative plans for dinner at our place.  On the drive to West Towne, we take a brief detour to look at the house Larry and Martha just bought.  Andy and JoAnna are hungry so lunch precedes shopping.  We consider burgers at the Village Green, but that's too far out of our way.  We settle for Upstairs Downstairs Deli.  I order a reuben and am served a very soggy, tasteless creation.  Andy's a bit hyper and spills so much ketchup on the front of his sweats we decide to go home after we eat.  He pleads with Mom to go shopping with her and promises to be good.  JoAnna relents.  Later in the afternoon, I take the boys grocery shopping.  Larry and Martha (with Michel in tow) and Barb and Chuck join us for dinner, Michael's frozen custard, and games.

Tuesday, December 3, 1991

After a brief stop at the library, I drive to the system office to attend a very routine and comparatively brief Advisory Committee meeting.  (I just automatically start writing in the present tense.  So much for a change of pace.)

On the drive back to Middleton, I groove on a collection of 80s tunes that I recorded onto one tape and stop at Hilldale to buy JoAnna a special birthday present, a pearl-drop earring and necklace set at Marshall Fields.  At Moseley's, I buy a blank book for myself, into which I hope to start recording some meandering thoughts about my life.  Soon.  But not this week, I suspect.

I attend the council meeting that evening, and the budget passes without further change.  Julie Brunnette addresses the issue of reimbursement for nonresident use, which I amplify during the reports from city officials.  Sandy Allen is assigned to the library board.  The good news is that her mom is a big library supporter.

November 26, 1991

Country taping and the drive to Kohl's to buy more blank tapes and Land's End to see if any of the merchandise screams "wife's birthday present.  An Indian knit sweater takes up the chant, but at $84 I decide to think about it.  Then I spot the tattersall shirt of my dreams and continue to keep a clamp on my wallet.

I have little ambition today.  My biggest accomplishment is use to a clipboard to organize all of my upcoming meeting agendas and reports and other various enclosures.

The evening is slow but not too slow.  Chris Robbins actually sits at a table for 2 hours and concentrates on his homework.  Before going to bed, I sit at my desk and drink a martini while going through the newspapers.

September 15, 1991

The classic (1962) version I spent many hours playing.

Somebody is 4 years old today and is whiningly impatient for his birthday party to start.   We tell Andy that he has to wait until 2 o'clock.

"That's too long!"

I escape the house during the morning to run some last-minute errands.  I buy licorice, two large wiffle balls, 2 board games (Chutes and Ladders for Andy, All-Star Baseball for me) at Toys R Us, Brewers  t-shirts for JoAnna and me at KMart, and cake, ice cream, and potato chips for Andy's party at Cub.

Our party does not get off to an especially auspicious start.  Our first guest, Jimmy, clings to his dad's left hand so hard that he must be cutting off circulation. After much coaxing, we eventually get him to feel at ease. Andy's two other guests are Bret and best friend David. When David arrives, Andy bursts out of the house, squealing with delight to greet him.

Fortunately, we don't attempt to overschedule the activities. The boys each take turns hitting the wiffle ball, and then we sit at the picnic table and play a simple baseball card variation of bingo. Since the game aren't going over bigtime, we sit at the table and eat hot dogs and birthday cake. Andy opens his presents, and eventually the fighting over who wants to play with what toy begins, though we manage to keep the disagreements brief and under control. The party winds down in the family room with Lady and the Tramp not holding anyone's interest too well.

Afterwards JoAnna and I judge the party a success.  Jimmy didn't want to leave when his dad came to pick him up.

Postscript:  Why did we neglect to take pictures of this event?

September 5, 1991

JoAnna leaves for work early.  I drive Andy to daycare, then begin to work on the list of 15 chores I have assigned to myself.  Laundry.  It's a nice enough day to hang a lot of stuff on the line.  The garage.  I begin a tidying up process that will continue into the weekend.  Closets.  I collect all the unused wire hangers and stuff them into a plastic bag and then designate some of my wardrobe items for rummage.

When Eddie wakes up from his morning nap and decides that he's not ready for lunch, I take him to the library to see how many Beatles CDs are waiting to be checked out.  Eddie's not in a particularly friendly mood.  He allows Sharon to hold him for awhile, but his face slowly turns from a show of contentment to perplexity to anguish.

I'm halfway to JoAnna's office when I realize I've forgotten to bring along the bank statements and bills.  I turn around to retrieve them.  When I present them to her, she determines that she can deal with our household budget at a later time.

It's quite an afternoon for Eddie.  He gathers up compliments effortlessly.  As we are walking along East Mifflin, a woman walks up to us and effuses, "What a doll!"  Obviously, she is not talking about me.  On the afternoon visit to Mom's eighth-floor office (the one without the spectacular view of the east side of Madison as offered by ceiling-to-floor windows) two women in the elevator go absolutely ga-ga over Eddie.  At Coyle, where I sign our carpet contract, a woman compliments Eddie on his "killer eyes".

I drop off Baby Studly at home and then do some shopping:  Prangeway, Apollo, Cub Foods.  I can't find the postcard protectors I need to store my travel notes.

Back home, I am soon confronted with an inconsolable Eddie guy.  I have to hug him to my chest to keep him quiet, but that keeps me from preparing supper.  I lay him in the playpen and he fusses a while longer.  It takes him a half hour to regain his usual sunny disposition.

Supper is great.  Pork chops and sauerkraut, steamed red potatoes and green beans.   JoAnna cleans up and I watch the boys in the TV room.  JoAnna offers Barb our bedroom to watch the U.S. Open tennis tournament, so now I feel like a prisoner in my own home.  I don't want to join Barb because her bursts of applause sound like a game of Patty Cake on amphetamines.

Once Eddie's in bed and Andy's absorbed in a second viewing of his newest video, I crawl into the lower bunk and try too hard to fall asleep.

June 29, 1991

JoAnna doesn't have to work today.  Unfortunately, it's too hot to consider doing anything out of the ordinary.  Andy and I go shopping in the morning. to KMart first, where I hope to find a swimming pool for the kids but nothing much is in stock.  Andy starts to look increasingly pale, but we forge ahead and get the grocery shopping done.  I give him repeated comforting hugs as we wind our way through the aisles of Cub Foods.

I do a little yard work during the afternoon.  After literally years of procrastination, I set up our compost cage.  I grill chicken for supper and then we just vegetate to stay cool.  Andy sleeps through most of the afternoon and is refreshed when he wakes up.  Whatever bug he had left him quickly.

March 16, 1991

We leave for Two Rivers at 9:30.  Barb, of course, stays behind.  Andy and Eddie sleep during most of the trip, and JoAnna and I take advantage of this free time to talk.  Leaving Eddie with Grandma, we go shopping for shoes in the afternoon.  Both JoAnna and Andy score two pairs apiece.  I come up empty, though I do buy five postcards which I hope to use to records some psychological insights about the weekend.  Back at Grandma and Grandpa's, Andy insists that we go to the park.  I'm always looking for an excuse to escape the claustrophobic house, so I'm more than willing to go.   Andy amazes me with his dexterity and bravery on the monkey bars.  We get back to the house in time for me to drink a couple of martinis before dinner.  I spent the evening with the boys, watching TV in the living room and then just lounging around in the bedroom while the other enjoy an increasingly rowdy round of cards in the basement.  Someone has to stay upstairs since we didn't bring the monitor along -- and guess who volunteers?  I'm not in a party mood anyway.  Spending the evening with my two sons provides me with a contentment beyond compare.

February 17, 1991

Sunday is a day of rest, even when I have to get up early to tend to my little Eddie guy.  JoAnna sleeps in until 9.  I'm thinking about an uninterrupted day at home until JoAnna talks about going shopping, all of us.  I suggest we check out the Land's End outlet and what a bonanza.  I pick up three pairs of pants, two shirts, and a turtleneck.  JoAnna scores two skirts, two tops, and a sweater.  This amazing haul totals less than $150.  During our stroll through the mall, we run into Kathy Wiese and her boyfriend..  She now works at Eddie Bauer -- the East Towne store.

We fix tacos and burritos for supper and then settle into an evening to TV.

January 22, 1991

wtf

It's my morning off, JoAnna's first day back at work.  Andy must sense the change; he offers no resistance to the resumption of the old workaway routine. 

Eager to tackle some errands, I leave the house nearly two hours before my expected arrival at the library. 

Paul 1, Perry 0.

I drive to West Towne, shop for shirts and a scarf at Sears.  I charge my purchases, experiencing the plastic buzz I'm so familiar with, then continue the feeling at Waldenbooks.  I pay cash for Maniac Cop at Suncoast Video.  The Purple Rose of Cairo is no longer in stock.

Before my shopping spree, Barb hits me over the head with a verbal hammer.  Dale was busted for cocaine last spring outside of Buffalo.  It's new to me.  Mom and Dad haven't breathed a word. 

"I just can't figure out how after all these years, Dale still thinks he's invincible," I comment.

I also wonder how come she's so knowledgable about the location of Dale's beer and pot and cocaine.