On This Date in 1999 (February 21)

What a beating my checkbook took this weekend. Ouch! Since Friday was payday, fortunately, it didn’t make much of a difference to our bottom line.

Andy’s Friday night basketball practice was cancelled. The head coach wasn’t feeling well, and the assistant coach wasn’t available until 6:30, and since the team was playing an 8 a.m. game on Saturday, they decided the practice wasn’t really all that necessary anyway. That gave us a rare Friday evening, at least so far this year, for a family activity. JoAnna suggested going to a movie – October Sky and My Favorite Martian seeming to be the only appropriate family fare – but Eddie vehemently vetoed this idea. In fact, he didn’t want to go anywhere. He can be such a homebody sometimes, content to watch TV or play with his toys or draw. Andy suggested we go out to eat at Damon’s, the “trivia” restaurant, and that was acceptable to everyone, although we did have to do some armtwisting with Eddie. I wasn’t all that hungry, having picked up (pigged out on) a chicken fajita burrito, one of my all-time favorite Mexican entrees from Pasqual’s, during my lunch break. That meal was still resting heavily on my stomach. As a result, I just ordered a sandwich, but Mom and Andy opted for a full meal, grilled salmon and a rack of ribs, respectively. Eddie got the chicken strips kid’s meal. Our efforts at trivia were respectable. We ended up in second place, quite a few points behind the first place team. We faltered on a series of questions that had to do with music of the 90s. At this point of the game, we looked to Andy for guidance, and he was able to answer 2 or 3 questions correctly. (Final monetary damages: $62 with tip.)

Saturday morning started out just like any other weekday. The alarm sounded at 6 a.m. I lay in bed for a few minutes before getting up to exercise. We left the house at 7:15 for Glacier Creek Middle School in Cross Plains, a ten-minute drive. Once again, Eddie whined about not being able to stay home, as he does before every single one of Andy’s basketball games. We let him vent for a minute or two before putting our collective feet down. He’s not ready to stay home alone, even if he is cuter and (usually) more personable than McCauley Culkin.

Middleton played a nonconference team from Sauk Prairie. It was no contest. At the end of the first half, the score was 30-2 in Middleton’s favor. For most of the second half, the scoreboard showed 0-0 – I guess there is a 30-point humiliation rule – and the clock ran continuously, except for time-outs called by the coaches. The final score was somewhere in the neighborhood of 55-12. Actually, this was not the kind of game the kids needed going into a tournament weekend. Next weekend, the four best teams from two leagues will participate in a 3-day Tri-County League tournament.

After the game, we went to the Kiwanis pancake breakfast, which is held each time this year at the spacious parish center at St. Bernard’s Catholic Church. The event seems to be a good fundraiser for this service group. We had to wait in line for 15 minutes before we were served, and the line snaked for 50 feet from the kitchen to the ticket-taker’s table for the entire time we were there. I had bought the tickets in advance, so the meal wasn’t part of the expenditure column for this weekend’s expenses.

As soon as we returned home, I stretched out on the couch in the living room and finished reading The Stone Diaries by Carol Shields, a highly regarded 1993 novel that follows, in ten beautifully written chapters, the life of Daisy Goodwill Flett through birth (in 1905), childhood, marriage, love, motherhood, work, sorrow, east, illness and decline, and death (in 1985). It’s been a very popular choice of book reading groups in the Madison area since it was first published. After JoAnna and Andy returned from their visit to the health club, the family went shopping. Here is where the major dents in my checkbook occurred. First stop: Target. Our purchases included underwear and t-shirts for the boys, sportswear for JoAnna, plus two $1.99 boxes of favorite brands of cereal on sale, a “Battle Squad” toy for Eddie (Dad is such a soft touch), and CDs for Mom – Billy Joel’s Greatest Hits – and Andy – a collection of recent pre-teen favs. (This dad is made of clay! Just mold me.) Total damages: $279.53. 

Actually, we rarely go shopping as a family anymore. Everybody but me needed additions to his or her wardrobes. After Target, we went to Penney’s to get pants and shirts for the boys. Andy’s growing out of his current pairs of JNCO jeans, and Eddie has rips and tears and shredded threads in the right knee – not the left knee, only the right knee; why is that? – of most of his jeans. Andy picked out three pair of baggy jeans, while Eddie selected two pairs of form-fitting jeans. While the boys were trying on these clothes, a mother of a seven-year-old trying on pants complained to me about her son’s choice of style. He emerged from one of the fitting rooms wearing a baggy pair of black jeans with white stitching all over the place. From the look on his face, you could tell that he thought that he was Mr. Cool, but Mom had a different opinion, which she was obviously hesitant to share with him, and I didn’t feel it was my place to confirm. I shared with her the difference between a baggy 11-year-old Andy and a form-fitting 8-year-old Eddie. My philosophy is Let Kids Be Kids, a point of view that requires parents to give their children the space to explore their own individuality.

By the time we got home, we had 15 minutes to get ready for church. After mass, I drove Andy to Verona. During a family conference Friday evening, we agreed that Andy could have a sleepover at Tim’s house. Originally, JoAnna and I had made plans to go out to dinner Saturday evening, which meant that we expected Andy needed to stay home with Eddie. Mom approved the Andy’s sleepover request, forgetting about our previous plans. Although JoAnna was ready to rescind her request, I thought we should give Andy the benefit of the doubt. Why should he be punished for his parents’ mistake? I said. As a result, Eddie accompanied us to Imperial Garden last night. We had dinner with Ted and Dorothy Shannon, 80-year-old friends of ours from Middleton. At first, he wasn’t too happy with this turn of events, especially our choice of restaurant – Chinese -- but he made his parents very proud with his mature behavior during the three hours we spent at the restaurant. Having him bring along his sketchbook and some colored pencils helped to keep him occupied during what he considered the slower stretches of the evening.

The other morning while I was exercising on the Walkfit, SportsCenter spent almost 10 minutes on the Clemens-Wells trade. Everyone thinks the Yankees are going to be even better than last year. But let’s take a closer look at this situation. David Cone: old, in baseball terms, and with a suspect arm. Andy Pettitte: subpar 1998 season; unfulfilled promise; Hideo (?) Irabu: he’s never lived up to the hype that accompanied his rookie season. And Clemens is no spring chicken. Unlike Wells, he’s such a selfish player, someone who won’t add anything to team camaraderie. Personally, I think the Yankees are fooling themselves if they think they’re going to walk through the season to another World Series championship. Steinbrenner and Torre and the rest of the team just don’t realize what a fluke it is to win 125 games in a full season of baseball. This is not the 1950s. What goes up must come down. 

Sunday evening

Andy is at the health club. JoAnna is attending a Renew 2000 meeting, a discussion group associated with St. Bernard’s. Eddie is playing in his newly rearranged bedroom, unknowingly waiting for me to tell him it’s time to take a shower. And then we’ll read for 15 minutes.

But first I want to finish this letter.

Andy played his final regular-season game of the year. Middleton played against a Mount Horeb team from the other Tri-County League of 5th grade teams. From the look of the opponents – some big guys on the team as far as height and/or weight was concerned – I thought our guys would get a run for their money. Once the game was underway, though, it was obviously that Middleton was the more talented and better coached team. Andy played a great game, pulling down his usual share of rebounds and scoring six points on aggressive drives to the basket. He looked to be in playoff form. Middleton won, by the way, 41-27.

After the game, the families gathered at Kit’s Korner, a sports bar located halfway between Mount Horeb and Middleton. The fact that every player and his family showed up was an indication of what a positive experience this basketball season has been for everyone. With video games lining the walls, all the parents were fishing in their pockets or purses for loose quarters. If none of those were available, then dollar bills were extracted from their wallets. One of the moms ordered a sheet cake with all the players and coaches names on it. The two coaches were also presented with gift certificates in appreciation of their many volunteer hours – two practices a week in December and two practices and two games a week throughout January and February.

Once we returned home, we rearranged the furniture in Andy’s bedroom. Now it looks as though he has 50% more space – and 100% neater. The latter condition may not last that long, knowing Andy’s habits. 

I baked a banana bread this morning and just took out the last pan of cookies out of the oven. I made the usual chocolate chip dough, but due to the boys’ fussiness and JoAnna’s Lenten denial, I divided it into three bowls: one with chocolate chips (for the boys), one with peanuts (for JoAnna, since she’s given up chocolate for Lent), and one with both extra ingredients. (I’m not about to deny myself my favorite cookie.) 

Time for me to get Eddie into the shower. I’m also waiting for Andy’s phone call for taxi service from the health club to home. He must be having a good time there. In the meantime, I’ll watch a black-and-white rerun of (“Let’s all play”) What’s My Line?

On This Date in 1999 (January 30)

We stayed out until 11:30. JoAnna and I came out even playing cards. She won $10; I lost $10, $4 in one hand. Double on the bump, as they say in sheepshead lingo, which I’m not about to explain to you. Just let me say that the great hand I thought I had wasn’t good enough.

The boys were still up when we returned home, still handling the controls of the Playstation game. They are really into this electronic toy. I probably should have paid it for babysitting.

Andy’s basketball game (the real, live version) went into overtime. The first quarter didn’t seem to promise this kind of excitement, Middleton scoring only one basket and trailing 8-2 after the first 7 minutes of play. They showed a little bit of improvement in the second quarter, outscoring their opponents 9-8, but still behind 16-11. Our guys kept chipping away at the lead so by the fourth quarter each of the team’s best guns, Johnny Strnad for Middleton, and no. 21 for Madison West, scored baskets at will. Middleton was down 34-32 with a 9 seconds left when Andy Frasier drove in for a lay-up to tie the score. In the 3-minute overtime period, Middleton nailed down a victory by holding their opponents scoreless. Final score 40-34. The fans on both sides of the bleachers were on their feet at the end of the game. It was a well-played and well-coached game, a gratifying win for Middleton, a tough loss for Madison.



Super Bowl Sunday, and I’m sitting in the family room, alone, in front of the computer, with the TV off. Shouldn’t I be arrested or something? Eddie’s in the kitchen watching the Sylvester and Tweety Bowl on the Cartoon Network. Now there’s an inspired example of counter-programming. JoAnna’s taking a nap, the TV in the bedroom tuned to American Movie Classics. Andy’s the only member of the family who’s getting into the spirit of this special day in sports. He and some other friends were invited to watch the game at Tim’s house, Tim’s weekend house, that is, where he lives with the mom and stepdad in Verona, about a 15-minute drive from here. The group gathered there will watch the game on a big-screen TV.

We’ve enjoyed an almost spring-like weekend with lots of sunshine and temperature approaching the 40-degree mark. In spite of this thaw, we still have at least a 4-inch cover of snow on the ground, as I look out the sliding-glass doors to my left and inspect the back yard. JoAnna and I never did complete the task of organizing the garage that was on our to-do list yesterday. I couldn’t think of a compelling reason to jump the gun on spring cleaning. I preferred to stretch out on the couch and get back into the book I’m currently reading. Saving Grace, by Lee Smith, tells the story of a charismatic backwoods preachers in North Carolina who specializes in serpent-handling during his “performances”. The story is told from the point of view of his daughter. I think you might enjoy this book, Mom. The author very effectively recreates the crackling atmosphere of a rural revival service, as well as the struggles of an itinerant family living on the cusp of poverty. Smith has written about 8 novels. The only other one of hers I’ve read is The Devil’s Dream, somewhat of a fictionalized biography of the country singer Patsy Cline, at least that’s how it impressed me.

Andy’s team won another nail-biter this afternoon against Mount Horeb, 45-41. Middleton is turning into quite a scrappy team. Today they were down 12-5 after the first quarter but fought their way back to take a 1-point lead at the half. They have become a never-say-die team.

On This Date in 1998

It’s five o’clock in the afternoon, and JoAnna just returned home from a workshop in Milwaukee. That means she was gone all day, of course. Andy was at a friend’s house from 9:30 until 2:00, so Eddie and I kept Boxer company. 

What did I do today? Not much. A couple loads of laundry. A quick trip to the post office to mail some bills. I started to read a book that I quickly lost interest in, When the Bough Breaks by James Patterson, an author of best-selling mysteries. I had a bad feeling about this book from the start. A 300-page novel with more than 100 chapters? The author must suffer from attention deficit disorder, I figured. Actually, as I quickly discovered, the author can’t write. It was a chore reading the first 20 pages. Disgustedly, I tossed it aside and watched the UCLA-Miami football game for awhile. 

Earlier in the week, I had promised Andy I’d take him to see The Waterboy, a comedy starring Adam Sandler, Hollywood’s current box-office draw. We went to the 3 o’clock showing this afternoon. I’d call it a perfect movie for 11 year olds, a variation of the 3 Stooges kind of humor. Eddie enjoyed it, too. As for Dad, it wasn’t nearly as bad as any of the Mighty Ducks movies. I actually found it mildly amusing. 

Andy plays his first basketball game at 9 a.m. on January 2nd. That means we’ll have to leave Warren on New Year’s Day and miss watching the Rose Bowl. That was JoAnna’s first reaction when I showed her the schedule. His team plays two games every weekend for eight weeks, usually on Saturday morning and Sunday afternoon. Then they play in a tournament in early March. It’ll be more than twice the number of games he played last year. 

Yesterday was JoAnna’s last day in her current job. It’s hard to get a sense of whether she’s relieved about this part of her career being over or concerned over what she does next. Bill Broydrick, for whom JoAnna used to work as a lobbyist, called her yesterday, so there’s a chance she could go back to her previous job. 

Our warm spell is into its second week. JoAnna went golfing on Wednesday, and I just heard the weatherman on one of the local TV stations say that he was out on the link today. (JoAnna’s surfing right now, unable to find anything good on TV.) One day this week Wisconsin had the warmest temperature ever for December. Looks like we’re going to see a return to normal sometime tomorrow, as a cold front is predicted to move in. 

We all went to a Christmas party last night at Ron and Julie’s,friends of our who live on the east side of Madison. JoAnna and Eddie left the house at 6:30, not wanting to wait around for Andy’s basketball practice to end. It was my turn to pick up the boys. Even though their practice was over at 7:30, we didn’t leave the school until 8:00 since half the team stayed around to play a game of “Lightning”. Andy and I didn’t arrive at the party until 9:00. Outside of a 10-month-old, Andy and Eddie were the only kids in attendance, but they watched videos in one of the upstairs bedrooms. We left at 10:30, at Andy’s insistence. Neither JoAnna nor I minded since it wasn’t much of a party. Just people standing around talking and drinking and eating. 

Tonight JoAnna and I are attending a dinner party hosted by the previous president of the library board and her husband. Andy will earn $9 as our “built-in” babysitter, $3 an hour. 

The city council passed the budget Tuesday night with the library requests intact. As a result, we’ll be able to add Sunday hours to the schedule beginning March 7. The library will be open from 1:00 to 5:00 p.m . during the school year, i.e., from the Sunday after Labor Day to the Sunday before Memorial Day weekend. We’ll be hiring a ¾-time Young Adult Services Librarian, the first new professional position during my tenure as library director, and a ½-time Library Assistant II, as well as more page hours. Overall, the library budget will increase by 10%, to about $750,000. 

Andy wasn’t too happy with his mom and dad earlier this week. He wanted to be able to play with his friend Tim after school in Wednesday, but we both told him that he had to come home directly. JoAnna called me at work around 4 o’clock to tell me that Andy hadn’t returned home yet. (She got home early after playing 18 holes of golf.) Although JoAnna didn’t ask me to do anything, I left the library to conduct a search. I didn’t see Andy’s bike at Tim’s house, but I did spot it near the playground equipment at Elm Lawn School. Andy was close to defying me when I told him he had to go home. Tim betrayed a confidence. “Andy said he doesn’t care if he gets grounded,” a remark Andy denied making. JoAnna was very upset with Andy, but I told her his behavior wasn’t at all unusual. In fact, he and Tim were talking on the phone a couple times Tuesday evening, and it was then when Andy first asked me if he could go to Tim’s house after school. He didn’t like my negative response and ended up doing something about it the next day. I could see myself, as an 11 year old in the same situation, doing the exact same thing. And the start of the teenage experience is still two years away!