On This Date in 1998

Although the week started off on a soggy note, the gray dome of the weekend remaining in place, we found ourselves basing in warm sunshine by Thursday. It was tempting to play hooky, but I had a full schedule: a meeting of LINK, the automation consortium of which Middleton is a member, in the morning; a staff meeting in the afternoon, and a stint as guest lecturer for a class at the library school in the early evening.

When I dropped off Eddie Thursday afternoon, the living room was sset up with lights, microphones, and a camera. JoAnna and I had offered Jon Erpenbach the use of our house to film a commercial for his Senate campaign. It was shot just inside the front entrance, a moment in the life of a candidate knocking on doors to introduce himself to the votes, Drew’s mom, Kathy, filling the role as the woman of the house. (Drew, if you recall, is on Andy’s football team, and Kathy’s husband, Brian, has been one of Jon’s best friends since high school.) The boys would have jumped at the chance to be in this commercial, but their services weren’t needed this time.

Yesterday I worked from 9 a.m. until 3 p.m. without a break, but by the time I returnred home it was too late to do anything outside. Before picking up Eddie, though, I did take care of one chore on my household to-do list. I cleaned Eddie’s bedroom windows, inside and out. The two of us stopped at a fundraiser for 2nd Congressional district candidate Tammy Baldwin on the way home, where we met JoAnna. Andy, of course, was at football practice, and it was my turn to pick up the boys, so I had to leave in the middle of Tammy’s remarks, a political pep talk, for the most part.

The Middleton High School football team traveled to Beloit yesterday. We aren’t big enough fans to follow the team on the road. If Andy continues his interest in the sport and plays on the team when he’s in high school (which is only 4 years away!), then we’ll make the road trips. Middleton lost a heartbreaker, 14-10, Beloit scoring a touchdown with one minute left in the game. The loss eliminated the Cardinals from the state high school playoff picture. Last year, Middleton won the Division A championship, so for some fans, this season has been a letdown. The coach’s wife even wrote a letter to the local newspaper, complaining about callous and degrading remarks uttered by fans during the games, loose-tongued people who obviously didn’t realize who was sitting near them.

As a result of conflicting schedules today, I wasn’t able to see Andy’s game. The Orioles traveled to Sauk City, 20 miles northwest of here, to play an undefeated team that had beaten their previous opponents by an average margin of 30 points. We saw Andy’s defensive coach (and his family) at Pasqual’s last night after football practice, and he mentioned to us how big some of these kids were, about 8 tipping the scales at 140 or more. (Where do they find these kids?, is what I want t5o know. I used to think that Andy and his friend Ross Hellenbrand were big for their age. Maybe in Middleton, but not elsewhere, it seems.) Consequently, I was pleased to learn that the Orioles lost by a score of 7-0. Andy played both offense and defense today and, according to JoAnna, looked like he was really into the game. A couple times on offense, he was wide open, but the quarterback was unable to get off a pass in time. The offensive line remains the Orioles’ Achilles heel.

Eddie played in a soccer tournament today, a total of three games between 10 a.m. and 3 p.m. His team, the Sailfish, tied the first one (2-2), won the second (1-0), and tied the third (2-2). With ten seconds left in game 3, the Sailfish had a golden opportunity to score, the right forward having an open shot 4 feet in front of the goal. He could have dinked the ball through. Unfortunately, he got way too much loft on his kick, and the ball bounced off the wooden frame at the top of the goal. Everyone on the sidelines groaned. The team had made a furious second-half comeback from a 2-0 deficit, and it would have been great to see them snatch a victory just prior to the game-ending whistle. Eddie played defense most of the day, a position he enjoyed and at which he excels. At Wednesday’s game, his coach raved about Eddie’s tenacity. He exchanged high fives with him as Eddie ran off the field at the end of the game. Then, as we were walking back to the car, I overheard him say to his assistant coach, “If it hadn’t been for Eddie’s defense, we would have really been out of that game.” As it was, they lost 2-0.

One of the side benefits of the Ritalin is that is has made Eddie a more focused soccer player. Last spring, and even at the beginning of the season, his head would drift in and out of the game. Now he plays with a little more intensity and with a greater awareness of where he is supposed to be in relationship to the ball. Of course, the primary reason for this drug therapy is to improve Eddie’s classroom performance, and already, during the first three weeks of his being on medication, we feel that he has made big strides. Eddie has been able to stay focused while working on his nightly homework assignments. We haven’t had to deal with any outburst caused by his frustration when something doesn’t come easy for him. I should probably call his teacher ext week to see if she’s noticed any corresponding improvements at school. We’ve had no reports of classroom disruptions or recess run-ins. From this evidence you can see that we’ve been operating on the no-news-is-good news principle for the past three weeks. Tammy Baldwin’s fundraiser was hosted by the boys’ pediatrician and his wife, and he was pleased to hear our report about the positive steps that Eddie had made. And it’s not just related to behavior. His reading comprehension increases each week. His special classes, 45 minutes each day with a reading specialist in a small-group setting, are really working wonders for him. It also helps him that JoAnna or I, depending upon who’s home, work very closely with Eddie each night, giving him encouragement and praising his hard work.

Surprised about the results of the second round of baseball playoffs so far? The Padres certainly made everyone sit up and take notice with their two-game sweep of the Braves in Atlanta. And now I see the Padres have a one-run lead going into the bottom of the 7th. In San Diego. With the fans tasting the possibility of a sweep. The Fox network is certainly not looking forward to a San Diego-Cleveland World Series, since those two cities represent relatively small markets. The Yankees, of course, guarantee at least respectable ratings, and the Braves have developed a national following as a result of their presence o Ted Turner’s Superstation. I’m hoping that Doc Gooden can put another nail in the Yankee coffin tonight. And you know he has to be motivated to do so, after being considered expendable by Joe Torre.

Earlier in the week, I investigated the possibility of consolidating three of our loans: mortgage, auto, and personal equity line, which add up to around $1,150 in monthly payments. Our bank is offering what they have dubbed a “Turbo” loan – faster approval, less paperwork – at an interest rate of 6.99% for anything between $75,000 and $99,000. The current principle on our debts adds up to $70,700, but the extra $4,300 will allow us to get the kitchen remodeled: new flooring, baseboard, countertop, and refaced cabinets. With a ten-year repayment schedule, our monthly payments will be $870.

Andy’s friend Matt is sleeping over tonight. Meaghan is here now and the three of them are playing games – until a few minutes ago Slap Jack, it sounded like, and now they are setting up the Clue game board right next to me in the family room. Eddie’s on the sidelines, of course, wishing he could play, but I told him to watch the first game to get an idea of how it is played and maybe he can join the second game, if their collective attention span lasts that long.

JoAnna went to her office after dropping off Andy. She probably won’t be back home until 7 or 8. It’s almost 7 right now so I should think about supper. Let’s see… we had Mexican last night, and JoAnna ordered pizza for delivery on Thursday, and I treated the boys to McDonald’s on Wednesday after Eddie’s soccer game. (This fast-food review will give you an indication of how busy this week has been.) Looks like it might be a Subway kind of evening.

On This Date in 1998

I woke up at 4:30 this morning to the sound of rain, which has continued unabated throughout the day. It’s not a drizzle, but a steady, drenching rain that has plenty of dry earth to soak into. Up until yesterday evening, the texture of our back yard resembled concrete. I could have cut a two-inch-square chunk of soil out of the ground, thrown it against a hard surface, and watched it shatter into a million pieces. The hardness of the soil and the lack of precipitation – it’s been very dry here during the past month – has resulted in a slowdown of the lawn repair I initiated earlier this year. I’m still trying to get the grass to bounce back from the trampling it received during our Bastille Day party. Only a couple additional efforts at reseeding and a daily watering has kept a section of the back yard from returning to the big, ugly patch of bare earth that taunted me at the beginning of spring.

After a call from Eddie’s teacher and a visit to his pediatrician last Friday, JoAnna and I decided to have Eddie take the drug Ritalin as a way to control his behavior. He’s already been sent to the principal’s office twice this year, and I’ve had two phone conversations with Mrs. Magnuson, his teacher, about how things have been going in the classroom. She reports that Eddie has had good days and bad days, occurring in no predictable pattern. On bad days, he cannot control his impulses. On Friday during recess he hit someone with a stick. Rom her perspective, Mrs. Magnuson did not think it was deliberately malicious. His teacher is also concerned about Eddie missing a lot of work at school due to his inability to focus. He finds, as she phrased it, a lot of things stimulating in the environment. In other words, he’s easily distracted.

JoAnna and I are starting to see more frequent examples of Eddie’s impulsiveness, his ability to become easily frustrated, and his contrariness at home. At soccer practice, too. When I picked him up Sunday evening, I learned that he had refused to run a lap with the rest of his team at the conclusion of the practice.

If you recall, Eddie and his teachers (not just classroom but art, gym, music, as well as his special reading class) participated in a 4-week-long Ritalin blind test this past May. One week he took the drug, the following week a placebo. Only the doctor knew which was which. Based on his review of the results, he said that Ritalin had a very obvious stabilizing effect on Eddie’s behavior. When the doctor asked Eddie is he would mind taking the drug, he answered, “No, ‘cause I won’t get in so much trouble.”

Eddie will start taking Ritalin next week. His teachers will start to keep a record of his behavior this week, which will be used as a base line for measuring any changes that take place during the drug therapy. I hope that this will not turn out to be the long-term solution for Eddie’s difficulties in school. One of the fulltime staff members at the library told me that her son was on Ritalin for 9 years, from 4th grade through high school. I’m hoping that’s not the path that Eddie will have to take. Yesterday I placed a hold on a book that might offer some alternatives to Ritalin: The Myth of the A.D.D. Child: 50 ways to improve your child’s behavior and attention span without drugs, labels, or coercion. It’s not that I’m questioning our pediatrician’s diagnosis. He certainly hasn’t pushed us into taking this route, but I’d still like to investigate the options that might be available to us. At the same time, I won’t be accepting at face value everything I read about the alternatives to drug therapy. A lot of nonsense manages to worm its way into print. It is obvious to the doctor, as well as to JoAnna and me, that Eddie has some ongoing problems that are not related to (or cannot be blamed on) the different personalities of his teachers. The impulsive and other behaviors that Eddie has demonstrated consistently throughout kindergarten, first, and now second grade point to a deeper problem. We’re just thankful that Eddie has been able to maintain a very positive attitude about school. It would be an especially onerous situation if we had to struggle to get Eddie out of the house each morning, if attending school was an activity he was determined to eliminate from his life like a bad dream. Yesterday after I dropped the boys off – rainy day taxi service – I parked the car in the school lot and walked to Eddie’s class to deliver the behavior monitoring form to his teacher. When I returned to the car, I found a mother standing between her van and my car gently coaxing her distraught daughter, who looked to be a first- or second-grader, to leave the passenger’s seat. I caught a glimpse of the girl’s face and saw a mask of sorrow, eyes reddened by crying. The open door of the van was position in such a way that I was unable to get into the driver’s seat of the Saturn. The women immediately noticed this and, closing her door slightly to give me access, said almost apologetically, “We might be here for awhile.” Both Andy and Eddie have always been enthusiastic about attending school. It has sometimes been a struggle getting them off in the morning, but that’s never been a ploy to avoid school.

We celebrated Andy’s birthday yesterday. Meaghan joined us for dinner: lasagna, tossed salad, garlic bread, and a white cake (with those little rainbow color bursts in the batter) with cherry (!) frosting for dessert, a menu selected by the birth boys himself. Andy loves the basketball pants. In fact, he tried on a pair on Saturday afternoon when I took him shopping for new jeans. He was disappointed when I vetoed the purchase, but he was very mature about hearing the word “No” for a change of pace. No whining. No pleading. If he had persisted, I might have blurted out something like, “You can’t get them because that’s what Grandma and Grandpa got you!” But I was able to preserve the element of surprise. We got him a Packer jersey (Antonio Freeman) with a white turtleneck and a long-sleeve navy blue shirt that JoAnna thought would look especially good on him.

In spite of the relentless rain today, Andy’s football practice wasn’t cancelled. I picked up the boys a little bit earlier than usual, their coach not being a sadist. I covered the upholstery of the Saturn with blankets and towels, which was good planning on my part. Otherwise, the interior of the car would have become a disaster area. The boys – Andy, Drew, Cole, and Riley – were thoroughly drenched, a bit muddy (not as much as I expected, fortunately), and slightly chilled, but were in surprisingly high spirits. In spite of the weather, they seemed to have enjoyed themselves. It was a chance to slop around with compunction.

On Saturday evening, JoAnna and I attended a reception at Music Hall on the UW campus, which was followed by a preview of an opera-in-progress, based on a controversial 1954 film that was blacklisted during the McCarthy era. (Neither JoAnna nor I have seen it, but I did place a reserve on the video version that the Madison Public Library owns.) The story deals with the anti-Hispanic racial strife that occurs in a New Mexico zinc mine when union workers organize a strike. Most of the singing is in English, although some of the lyrics are in Spanish. The program was made up of selected scenes from the opera, so the story the audience heard was quite disjointed. The voices of the UW students who made up the cast were outstanding and made the evening worthwhile.

And what about the boys when we were gone? Andy is now our designated babysitter. JoAnna and I were gone from 6:45 until nearly 10:00. When we returned home, everything was as we left it. We told Andy that if everything goes smoothly we would pay him $3 an hour, below the market rate for a regular sitter but not a bad starting rate for someone just shy of his 11th birthday.