Showing posts with label Yolanda Peroski. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Yolanda Peroski. Show all posts

Thursday, March 20, 2014

On This Date in 1999 (March 20)


It’s a beautiful Saturday morning, not a cloud in the sky, a blinding sunshine warming the earth, a work-in-the-garden kind of day. But, of course, it’s too early for that. Instead, I’ll concentrate on the list of chores I’ve prepared for myself. Write letters, finish yesterday’s pile of laundry, organize the hallway between the kitchen and the garage so it doesn’t look as though a tornado just passed through, transfer the scattered gloves and mittens and scarves to the chest of drawers in the garage, a piece of furniture that I bought when I first moved to Oshkosh.

JoAnna is spending the day at Shirley Abrahamson’s campaign headquarters. I know she has a lot to catch up on. Andy is sitting at the kitchen table doing his math homework, and Eddie is playing with his Lincoln logs, organizing them according to some complex plan inside his head. Although we brag about his artistic side, I think Eddie could easily move toward a career in engineering or architecture.

As I mentioned during our phone conversation yesterday, we made great time on the return trip to Middleton. We crossed the Indiana-Illinois border a few minutes before 2:00 p.m. and pulled into the driveway at 5:20. It was one of our easiest road trips.

I always seem to get the job of unloading the van. I pleaded for some assistance and initially my family responded. Very quickly, though, I saw JoAnna writing down her ten voice mail messages, Andy shooting baskets in the driveway, and Eddie watching TV. JoAnna went to the health club, and, feeling sluggish, I decided to work out on the Walkfit. For supper, the boys ordered pizza and JoAnna returned with the order I called into Grand China: shrimp fried rice, steamed potstickers (a meat-filled Chinese pasta is the best way to describe this entree), and crab Rangoon.

The visit to Warren almost seems like a blur now. Yesterday I spent most of my passenger time in the van transcribing my reflections of the funeral home visitation and Dad’s funeral on the message side of Ohio and Indiana picture postcards, six of them altogether. After reading Dad’s 1943 autobiographical sketch, I truly regret that I wasn’t more insistent that he write about his life experiences. Sometime during the late 1980s, I think I gave both of you blank books with the encouragement to write about your lives. I now repeat this encouragement, Mom. Your reminiscences will be something the boys will treasure when they are older.

I didn’t say this as articulately as I wanted to when we said our goodbyes Friday morning, but I just want to let you know you proud we our of you, Mom. You conducted yourself with such dignity and poise during the visitations and funeral. You were very gracious when accepting the many expressions of sympathy and made everyone feel at ease. I know you were an inspiration to the rest of us. I was concerned about how I was going to react once people started arriving at the funeral home. Let me start out with people I don’t know or can only vaguely remember, I said to myself. So who is the first person I see at two o’clock Wednesday afternoon? Yolanda Peroski. When we embraced, I lost my composure and blubbered some response to her expression of sympathy.

Later I wondered if some of my emotional reaction had to do with the fact that I didn’t take the time to visit her this past Christmas. After that, though, I was fine. The other challenge during our visit was reading the two scripture passages without being overwhelmed by another emotional bubble. Halfway through the 13th chapter of I Corinthians, I felt a pull on my vocal chords. Fortunately, the tension was quickly released. I did feel my body start to quake a little bit after I returned to the pew.

Overall, I felt that the funeral arrangements were handled very well. It helped me, at least, to put a big exclamation point at the end of dad’s life. What was evident at the retirement party for Dad in 1981 was again very much in evidence this past Wednesday and Thursday. Dad deeply touched the lives of many people.

Friday, December 27, 2013

On This Date in 1998


Dear Mardi,

Thanks for remembering my birthday, as you always do.  You make me feel like such a derelict.   Your birthday’s in March, right?  The 5th?  Am I close?  Anyway, next year I expect a big card for a very big event.  Can I say “50”?  Probably not without some  pained effort.

The boys and I made two trips to Warren this year, but no one outside of my family knew about it since I curiously and intentionally didn’t tell anyone else beforehand or contact anyone after our arrival.  Our visit in March was relatively short.  Four days, I think.   Most of my daylight hours were spent walking back and forth between my parents’ house and Beaty Field or the house and Jefferson schoolyard.  I was in constant demand to play basketball or catch.   On the way back to Wisconsin, we stopped in Chicago for two days, stayed at an expensive Lake Shore Drive hotel, and took in the sights.  Mostly museums, plus a trip to the top of the Hancock building, which absolutely fascinated the boys.  JoAnna stayed home as she was coordinating a special senate election and temporarily had no life outside of work.

In early August, a week after our high school reunion, we spent seven days in Warren, staying at Larry and Kim’s cabin on Valentine Run.  What an idyllic setting.  I just tuned out the world and focused on family and the 700-page book I was reading.  The boys and I did spend two day at Kinzua Beach, remembering to bring footwear the second day.    If I had called you, we could have traveled to Renee’s bat mitzvah together.  When JoAnna decided she couldn’t make the trip – gearing up for the general elections this time – I still considered making the trip to Lorain.  Once I settled into Warren, though, I told myself, I’m not driving anywhere until it’s time to return to Wisconsin.  Driving is not the joy it used to be.  And the boys aren’t to blame.  They are actually very good travelers.  Anyway, give me a big kick in the seat of the pants for missing this opportunity.  I have yet to apologize to Renee because I still feel like such an idiot, just like I did in 1970 when I missed her wedding.

I think part of my attitude of Warren aloofness has to do with our family situation.  Parkinson’s Disease keeps eating away at Dad’s physical and mental well-being.  The decline over the past couple years has been especially painful to observe, even from a distance of 700 miles.  Dad has great difficulty getting around on his own.  In fact, earlier this year the kitchen nook was transformed into a sleeping area for him.  He can’t negotiate stairs anymore.  During the day, he spends most of his time in a motorized upholstered chair, one that provides mechanical assistance in sitting down and getting up.  He’s almost always in a dozing position.  He gets easily confused; his mind, during moments of what now for him passes as lucidness, focuses on past events.  Last year during our December visit, he shuffled across the kitchen floor, stopped abruptly, and said, “I have to preach tomorrow at First Lutheran.”  Or he’ll talk about Mom in the third person and refer to some event that took place early in their marriage as if it were yesterday.  I’ve been meaning to read more about the debilitating effects of Parkinson’s, mostly to get a better understanding of how it affects the mind, especially in the later stages of the disease, which I suppose is where my dad must be by now.  It was 1990 when the first, very subtle , changes in his physical bearing became noticeable.  What really bugs me though is how little support Mom gets from the rest of her children.  I wanted to take her and the boys out to lunch, but Barb couldn’t be bothered to stay home and keep an eye on Dad.  There’s no way he can be left alone now.

Hey, great Christmas letter, huh?  Really upbeat.

Sorry about this self-indulgent rambling.

We’ll be in Warren from December 26th (the evening) through New Year’s Eve.  In fact, you and your mom are already aware of our upcoming visit.  (Yolanda probably, said, “If he’s not going to call me, I’ll call that runt myself!”  Again, the cabin will be our base of operations.  I will call this time, and when we get together, you can administer the appropriate punishment.
 

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