On This Date in 1999 (March 12)

Since I’m working on Sunday, I decided to take the afternoon. On the way home, I stopped at Pasqual’s and ordered a Fiesta Quesadilla to go, one of my favorite entrees. I planned to sit at the kitchen table and savor every mouthful while watching the NCAA matchup of Wisconsin vs. Southwest Missouri State. By the time I tuned in, the first half was already half over and the score was only 6-4, Wisconsin trailing. Things only got worse from this point. The Badgers must have left their offense in Madison. It took them most of the first half to score ten points. They made only 3 of 19 field goals, 0 of 9 three-point attempts. It was too painful to watch. I turned off the TV and started to tidy up the house, put a load of whites into the washer, cleaned the dirty dishes left over from breakfast, and made a mental list of what I need to do to clear the clutter off my desk.

The boys just returned home from school. Andy immediately tuned in the Badger game, even though I told him he wasn’t going to like what he saw. Eddie probably tuned in the Cartoon Network on the kitchen TV.

Andy and I had a conference with his teacher after school on Wednesday. He’s been slackin’ off, not writing down his homework in his assignment notebook, bringing home mediocre grades on tests – very similar to what happened last year at this time. His teacher is especially concerned because the last quarter of 5th grade focuses on getting her students ready for middle school, accepting responsibility, not always having to be told what to do. I see Andy starting to wander down the road I chose, where the destination is whatever you can get away with, not reaching your full potential. I’m not overly concerned, though. In spite of all the detours I took in my life, I’m very happy with where I am now. I certainly have taken it to the limit in Wisconsin as far as my career is concerned: Librarian of the Year, Wisconsin Library Association President, teaching as a second career. Of course, my accomplishments don’t even come close to what JoAnna has done. The main reason JoAnna was offered the position of Department of Justice Legislative Liaison was that the current Attorney General, Jim Doyle, plans to run for governor in 2002 and wants one of the state’s most astute political operatives on his staff.

Funny thing. After ten weekends of basketball, I was looking forward to this activity-free weekend. At least that’s what I thought. Now, believe it or not, I almost wish Andy was playing in another tournament. His game improved so much over the last few weeks of the season. It was so much fun to watch him play.

JoAnna and I attended the world premiere of the movie The Deep End of the Ocean on Tuesday evening. The author, Jacquelyn Mitchard is from Madison. The book was Oprah Winfrey’s first book club selection. The premiere was a benefit for the Dane County public libraries and probably raised more than $20,000. A reception and silent auction was held at the Frank Lloyd Wright designed Unitarian Church from 5 to 7, followed by a showing of the movie at a nearby theater at 8. We gave the movie a thumbs-up. JoAnna had read the book and I had listened to the book on tape version. We both thought that the movie was very true to the book. No Hollywood liberties taken here. You might want to give the book a try, Mom. I can’t guarantee you’ll like it, though. The subject matter, three-year-old kidnapped son who is “rediscovered” nine years later, is not for readers who like their fiction light and easy to digest. 

[Letter not completed and sent as Dad died on Sunday, March 14th.]

On This Date in 1999 (March 5)

Sandy and Charles

I think Andy’s basketball season last one weekend too long. His team is scheduled to play in a tournament this weekend, starting late this afternoon. On Wednesday, we learned that only four other teams will be participating. It hardly seems worth the effort. All the teams play against each other, and then the top two teams will play a championship game on Sunday afternoon. Although Andy plays only one game today, three games are scheduled for tomorrow. At 10:00, noon, and 3:00. After last weekend’s exciting Tri-County tournament, which Middleton won convincingly, anything else seems anti-climactic. If the boys make it to the championship, I won’t be able to see the game, as the library initiates Sunday hours on the 7th. I scheduled myself to work the first three Sundays of operation, both to work at the reference desk and get a feel as to how things go. We are expecting to be extremely busy. People in the community seem to be very excited about these expanded hours.

Sitting:  Carole, JoAnna, Paul

Standing:  Ruth, Mim

On Wednesday, just before taxiing Andy to basketball practice, he asked me, “Dad, how many times a week do we have supper as a family?”

“Oh, probably two or three times,” I answered, without giving my answer a whole lot of thought.

But I did wonder, “Why is he asking me this question?”

Later that evening, I picked up a copy of the Elm Lawn newsletter that he brought home. It was just a single sheet of paper with short articles printed on both sides. The one that caught my eye: How Often Families Eat Dinner Together.

Nights per week:

• Seven 22% 
• Five or six 30% 
• Three or four 26% 
• One or two 17% 
• None 5% 

So then I thought about it. Today (Wednesday) is a no. JoAnna’s at an Airport Commission meeting, and I got home from the library too late to fix a meal for the boys and me. Tuesday is my evening to work. I usually spend two hours at home in the middle of the afternoon to break up a long (11-hour) workday, but since I have to be on the reference desk at 5:00, a family supper is not an option. On Monday, JoAnna fixed chicken cacciatore in the crockpot – and almost didn’t make it home in time. Though a bit rushed, it was a family meal. ONE. JoAnna and I attended my cousin Charles’s wedding late Sunday afternoon, leaving the boys to fend for themselves. Following Andy’s championship game on Saturday afternoon, the family went to Culver’s for an early supper before 5 o’clock mass at St. Bernard’s. TWO. Friday evening, in Mount Horeb, where the basketball tournament was held, JoAnna and Eddie and I went out for supper at the Main Street Bar & Grill between games. The coaches wanted to keep the boys at the school. Outside of Crandall’s take-out, it was the first fish fry we had in quite some time. Thursday. I can’t remember that far back. Wait a minute. I think it’s coming into focus. Another crockpot meal. Stew meat simmered in cream of mushroom soup served over noodles, family style – literally. THREE. 

Sitting:  Shirley, Ruth, Carole

Standing:  Don

Perhaps you’d like to read more about last weekend’s basketball tournament. The four best teams in the two 5th grade leagues were matched up. Middleton handily won both its games Friday evening, 51-37 against Stoughton, and 37-28 against Waunakee, two victories which put them in the championship game against Sauk Prairie, the team that tagged Middleton with its only loss, one of their first games of the season. There was electricity in the air of the gym Saturday afternoon. The bleachers may not have been packed, but both teams drew large and vociferous contingents. Except for the last minute of the game, it was a see-saw battle, the fans loudly applauding each team’s good plays and generally screaming encouragement. With Middleton leading by two points with 1:00 showing on the clock, our guys scored six unanswered points. Andy scored a critical basket on a fast break, which put Middleton up 31-25 with 20 seconds left. The crowd acted as though it was at the Kohl Center for the NCAA finals. But it was one of the most truly exciting sports contests I have ever watched, and I don’t just say that because Andy was part of it, although I can’t deny that our son’s presence certainly gave the game an extra edge. Everyone was breathless by the time the final buzzer sounded, the fans more so than the players. I wish someone had videotaped this game. Even after-the-fact, you could have felt the intensity. You would have also been very proud to see how well Andy played. He has very noticeably improved his game this season. 

My cousin Charles, Lila’s son, who is 62 years old, got married for the second time last Sunday at Bethel Lutheran Church in Madison. JoAnna and I were expecting a short, informal service, but it turned out to be a musical extravaganza. Charles is an accomplished organist and composed much of the music for the ceremony. My cousin Mim, from Beloit, sang five different songs at various intervals. (She also sang at our wedding.) There was a reception in the church basement afterwards. Both Lila and Signe (two of my dad’s sisters) did not recognize JoAnna or me. In fact, Lila chillingly reminded me of my dad. Her face has the same mask-like appearance that my dad now wears because of Parkinson’s. Lila must be similarly affected. Ruth, my dad’s youngest sister, is, at 84, as spry and vivacious as ever. She’s the only child of Herman and Anna who still has all her marbles, so to speak. I don’t mean to sound disrespectful. As they say, sometimes you have to laugh to keep from crying. 

Genevieve and Tom

According to Mom’s recent letters, Dad’s situation continues to deteriorate. He is sleeping more now, which, in a way, is a blessing for her. He’s very contrary; he won’t listen to her when she tells him to do something and will occasionally try to hit her. Once in awhile he’ll lose his balance because of this uncharacteristic movement and fall. Being a fulltime homecare provider is taking an even bigger toll on her now. It may sound like a horrible thing to say, but she seems to be getting to the point now where she thinks Dad would be better off dead. And I can understand that. Physically and mentally, there is very little left of Dad. In her latest letter, Mom says she tries to concentrate on the 50 good years of their relationship and not the stress and sadness and loneliness of the past five. I’m sure Mom often feels like a prisoner in her own house. She doesn’t get a whole lot of help, even from Larry, Barb, and Dale. And maybe I’d tune out of this situation if I lived in Warren. 

Enough depressing stuff. 

The boys and I are doing an instant replay of last year’s spring break. Since JoAnna is unable to get away for an entire week, having just started her new job in the Department of Justice, I decided a visit to Warren was in order since we may not have an opportunity to do so this summer. We’ll leave Middleton around noon on Friday, March 26th – the boys being able to leave school early – and drive as far as a Holidome in South Bend or Fort Wayne. I’m sure it will be a quiet visit in Warren, which is now or has never has been a happenin’ place. The boys and I will sleep at Larry and Kim’s cabin, which means they’ll be able to stay up late watching TV without disturbing Grandpa. We’ll begin our return trip on Thursday and spend a couple day in Chicago. I bought tickets for a Bulls game on Friday, April 2nd. Plenty of cheap seats are available now that Michael Jordan has retired. I’d also like to take the boys to the Art Institute, which I think Eddie would really enjoy. Otherwise, our itinerary is still in the formative stages. 

JoAnna is flying out to Pennsylvania for Julieanna’s christening. She’ll leave Thursday after work and return late Sunday evening. The plane ticket costs $300, but then Madison to Allentown requires two stopovers, I think. At the same time, she bought our tickets for the Louisiana trip. The total: just over $1,000, which I think is very reasonable for the four of us. We leave on a Wednesday and return on Tuesday. This will be a short (thin?) vacation that will likely be sandwiched between the end of Andy’s baseball and the beginning of his football seasons. 

I got a call from Andy’s teacher yesterday. She was very concerned about the irresponsible attitude he’s been developing lately, over the last couple weeks, specifically. I mentioned that JoAnna and I were concerned, too. All of a sudden, he didn’t have any homework. “I did that at school,” he would say whenever we pushed for details. As it turns out, he was blowing everything off – not completing classwork, not noting assignments in his homework folder, not returning school library materials when asked. As a result, he was given an in-school suspension yesterday, with my blessing, on a day when the rest of his class went on a field trip to the Madison Civic Center to see a play about Thomas Edison. That consequence provided Andy with a much-needed slap in the face. I talked with Mrs. Ball again this morning, and she reported an immediate improvement in Andy’s attitude. I scheduled a conference with her for next Wednesday, since I felt very strongly the need for a face-to-face followup. Andy, of course, will be included in our discussion, since this is all about him.

The weather turned nasty today. We might have as much as five inches of snow on the ground tomorrow morning. The trip to Oregon, for game one of Andy’s basketball tournament, took twice as long as usual. They crushed a Madison team, 55-8, Andy scoring 8 points, coming this close (||) from a breakaway game for him, i.e. 16 points.

On This Date in 1999 (February 27)

On the weekends, the boys usually get out of bed without any prompting. They typically park their butts on the family room couch around 7 a.m. to watch TV. This morning, though, we all slept in until 8 o’clock. Andy had the best reason for staying in bed. The Tri-County basketball league tournament started yesterday, and Middleton played two games. Eight teams, the best four teams in the two 5th grade leagues, participated. Our guys won their first game, which started at 5:30 against Stoughton, 51-37, whom they had already beaten twice in the regular season, both of them hard-fought victories. If you recall from my previous report, Middleton won the first match-up 31-30 in overtime. In game two last night, Middleton played a Waunakee team from the other league, a small (in height) team with a reputation for scrappiness . It was a very close game until the 4th quarter. Middleton looked very sloppy in the third quarter, turning the ball over 9 (!) times. They weren’t running their plays, just dribbling down the court and taking questionable shots. The final score, 38-27, gives little indication of what an exciting game it was. 

As a result of their two victories yesterday, Middleton will play in the tournament championship today at 1:30. Andy told us on the drive home that one of the players on the Stoughton team told him that, “You guys are gonna go all the way.” If Middleton wins today, their record will be 17-1. They’ll probably be considered one of the favorites going into next weekend’s tournament in Oregon. (The suburb of Madison, not the state. Andy and his teammates haven’t reached that exalted state yet!) 

Our snow cover has disappeared as a result of the rain we received yesterday. Looking out the window to my right, I can see a few very small patches here and there. The sky is gray, making it the kind of day when I consider what household chores I want to tackle. Last weekend JoAnna went through her closet, discarding what many people in this world of ours would consider a lifetime wardrobe. I dropped off two fully packed black garbage bags at the Goodwill donation box before going to work on Monday. Now, I suppose, it’s my turn. There are quite a few clothes in my closet that I haven’t worn in years. 

I’m surprised I didn’t start out today’s portion of the letter with this BIG news. Albert called us last night at 10:45 to announce the birth of Julianna Marie Richard. 7 pounds 9 ounces. 21 inches long. Obviously, she’s already taking after her mother. Cyndi’s doing great. I guess it wasn’t the easiest of deliveries, but they also experienced no complications. JoAnna is especially pleased with the name. I know you’d at least like to send them a card of congratulations, Mom, so here’s their address: 
1936 Dakota Street 
Leavenworth, KS 66048 

JoAnna plans to fly out to Pennsylvania on Easter weekend for the christening. The boys and I have other plans. \

Our vacation to Washington, D.C., has been canceled due to JoAnna’s new job. Since I’ve already taken the week of spring break off, the boys want to do an instant replay of last year. We’ll leave Middleton on Friday afternoon, March 26th, and stay in a motel with all the amenities that the boys enjoy in the South Bend or Fort Wayne area, then arrive in Warren on Saturday afternoon, where we’ll stay through Wednesday. Before returning home, we’ll spend a couple days in Chicago. I wanted us to make the trip to Warren at this time because, our summer schedule, due to the boys’ baseball activities, the Richard family reunion in Louisiana, and Andy’s football practices, already seems to be filled up. 

A headline in today’s New York Times caught my eye as I was paging through it. “6 Doctors Charged in Abuse Of the Mentally Retarded.” The dateline: Franklin, Pa. Must be the Polk State Hospital, I figured, although the news article referred to it as the Polk Center. I immediately recalled a field trip to this institution that took place during my senior year in high school. For some reason, which I could never quite figure out, it was part of our year-end Advanced Biology curriculum. Maybe our teacher, Mr. Walker, wanted to sensitize us to people with disabilities, to those less fortunate than us. Why we had to travel the 60 miles to Franklin instead of a few miles to North Warren is a question, I suppose, that will never satisfactorily be answered. I often wish I had kept a journal during my high school years. I started one in April of 1965 while I was a 9th grader at Beaty and continued it through mid-December of that year. It wasn’t until my sophomore year in college that journal writing became a regular part of my life. I truly regret the fact that I discontinued this practice after eight months. My senior year, especially, would have provided me with a motherlode of material. The only thing I did then was to note briefly on the back of a small Audubon desk calendar what I did socially.

Examples: 
Mike, me, at Mod’s. 
Mike, Mod, Barb, me, Valley of the Dolls. 

For some reason, I didn’t note the trip to Polk. And, for example, even though I noted that I watched the UCLA-Houston NCAA championship basketball game, I didn’t acknowledge the fact that I had invited most of the 4th period, senior-guys lunch table to our house. That was in the days when TV didn’t schedule these sports events to accommodate Eastern Time Zone lifestyles. “Our” tip-off time was 11:00 p.m., which, on this particular night, fit our schedule like a glove. A group of us (BT, Pig, Ears, Squirrel, Mac, Punk, Pat, me) went to see Bonnie and Clyde at the Library Theater and met up with the rest of the gang at a high school dance. Is this late night house party something you remember, Mom? My most prominent memory is that we were making too much noise, even after closing the sliding door we used to have at the landing of the stairs to the second floor.

Is there something about approaching 50 that puts a person in a reminiscent mood? Or does it have to do more with what I read? I have to admit that I enjoy reading the Warren paper on a regular basis, and that many of the articles unlodge long-dormant memories, an example of which I have just shared with you. As much as I enjoy my career as a librarian, I frequently wish I had the time to take a more disciplined approach to writing. 

Later that same day 

What a game!! What an intense game we saw this afternoon!! The fans were as exhausted, as wrung out as the players. 

The championship match-up featured Middleton and Sauk Prairie, the team that tagged us with our only loss of the season. The gym was filled with a crackling electricity even before the opening tip-off. Neither team was in control during the first quarter. After an exchange of three baskets each, the momentum went in Sauk’s favor, our team turning over the ball or making questionable shots. Middleton was down 10-6 at the end of the first quarter. We came alive during the second quarter, Andy helping the cause with an aggressive grab of an offensive rebound and a quick shot off the backboard – just like Mom always tells him to do. At the end of the first half, Middleton led 19-15, the fans in our section of the bleachers on their feet, screaming their approval. The third quarter, though, tested our patience. Each quarter is seven minutes long, and when five minutes had elapsed, the score was still 19-15. Neither team could get the ball anywhere near the basket. Sauk managed to score 2 points in the last minute, so we went into the final quarter with just a two-point lead. Two and a half minutes into the fourth quarter, the score was 21-19, in Sauk’s favor. I could feel drips of sweat running from my armpits down the side of my body. Almost ten minutes and our team hasn’t scored a basket. Are we jinxed on this side of the court? I wondered along with everyone else rooting for Middleton. Suddenly the team caught fire, and Sauk seemed to lose their intensity. Sauk’s big guy (picture someone Andy’s size but 30-40 pounds heavier) got into foul trouble and couldn’t play his usual aggressive style. With Middleton leading 29-25 with less than a minute left, the fans were still nervous. Then out of the blue, there’s Andy on a fast break, five feet from the basket all by himself. Johnny Strnad throws him a half-court pass, which Andy fields smoothly, and lays up an easy two points. In our section of the bleachers, we’re on our feet again. That seals it, we’re all thinking. Sauk turns it over with a travel violation, but then they make it difficult for our guys to inbound the ball. Instead of trying to throw the ball in away from the basket, Johnny breaks toward the basket and Ross throw him a perfect pass. Two more points. Final score 33-25. Middleton scored 6 points in the final minute of the game to seal a hard-earned victory. Looking around the stands, I had to chuckle to myself. Is my face as flushed as the other parents’? We seemed to have more color in our faces than the guys who were running up and down the court for 28 minutes. Everyone talked breathlessly about what an exciting game we had just seen. We were very proud of our boys, especially since two members of the team weren’t able to play, one due to an ankle injury and another to a karate tournament. The coaches had limited substitution opportunities. 

I wish I had a video of this game to send you. I think you’d be amazed at how well a group of 5th graders can play basketball. I’m sure for Andy this has been the most rewarding of his many sports experiences. It certainly has been so for his parents.

Folding laundry has always been an indicator of where I am as a parent. Earlier in the this decade, I would hold up a piece of Andy’s clothing and think, “Look how small this shirt is.” Now I have trouble separating his socks from mine, his sweatshirts from JoAnna’s. Watching your children grow up is certainly a source of mixed emotions. I’m just happy to say, as ridiculously corny as it may sound, a sentiment that Hallmark would probably reject, that I love my boys more with each passing day. And on that note, I’ll conclude this letter.

On This Date in 1999 (February 21)

What a beating my checkbook took this weekend. Ouch! Since Friday was payday, fortunately, it didn’t make much of a difference to our bottom line.

Andy’s Friday night basketball practice was cancelled. The head coach wasn’t feeling well, and the assistant coach wasn’t available until 6:30, and since the team was playing an 8 a.m. game on Saturday, they decided the practice wasn’t really all that necessary anyway. That gave us a rare Friday evening, at least so far this year, for a family activity. JoAnna suggested going to a movie – October Sky and My Favorite Martian seeming to be the only appropriate family fare – but Eddie vehemently vetoed this idea. In fact, he didn’t want to go anywhere. He can be such a homebody sometimes, content to watch TV or play with his toys or draw. Andy suggested we go out to eat at Damon’s, the “trivia” restaurant, and that was acceptable to everyone, although we did have to do some armtwisting with Eddie. I wasn’t all that hungry, having picked up (pigged out on) a chicken fajita burrito, one of my all-time favorite Mexican entrees from Pasqual’s, during my lunch break. That meal was still resting heavily on my stomach. As a result, I just ordered a sandwich, but Mom and Andy opted for a full meal, grilled salmon and a rack of ribs, respectively. Eddie got the chicken strips kid’s meal. Our efforts at trivia were respectable. We ended up in second place, quite a few points behind the first place team. We faltered on a series of questions that had to do with music of the 90s. At this point of the game, we looked to Andy for guidance, and he was able to answer 2 or 3 questions correctly. (Final monetary damages: $62 with tip.)

Saturday morning started out just like any other weekday. The alarm sounded at 6 a.m. I lay in bed for a few minutes before getting up to exercise. We left the house at 7:15 for Glacier Creek Middle School in Cross Plains, a ten-minute drive. Once again, Eddie whined about not being able to stay home, as he does before every single one of Andy’s basketball games. We let him vent for a minute or two before putting our collective feet down. He’s not ready to stay home alone, even if he is cuter and (usually) more personable than McCauley Culkin.

Middleton played a nonconference team from Sauk Prairie. It was no contest. At the end of the first half, the score was 30-2 in Middleton’s favor. For most of the second half, the scoreboard showed 0-0 – I guess there is a 30-point humiliation rule – and the clock ran continuously, except for time-outs called by the coaches. The final score was somewhere in the neighborhood of 55-12. Actually, this was not the kind of game the kids needed going into a tournament weekend. Next weekend, the four best teams from two leagues will participate in a 3-day Tri-County League tournament.

After the game, we went to the Kiwanis pancake breakfast, which is held each time this year at the spacious parish center at St. Bernard’s Catholic Church. The event seems to be a good fundraiser for this service group. We had to wait in line for 15 minutes before we were served, and the line snaked for 50 feet from the kitchen to the ticket-taker’s table for the entire time we were there. I had bought the tickets in advance, so the meal wasn’t part of the expenditure column for this weekend’s expenses.

As soon as we returned home, I stretched out on the couch in the living room and finished reading The Stone Diaries by Carol Shields, a highly regarded 1993 novel that follows, in ten beautifully written chapters, the life of Daisy Goodwill Flett through birth (in 1905), childhood, marriage, love, motherhood, work, sorrow, east, illness and decline, and death (in 1985). It’s been a very popular choice of book reading groups in the Madison area since it was first published. After JoAnna and Andy returned from their visit to the health club, the family went shopping. Here is where the major dents in my checkbook occurred. First stop: Target. Our purchases included underwear and t-shirts for the boys, sportswear for JoAnna, plus two $1.99 boxes of favorite brands of cereal on sale, a “Battle Squad” toy for Eddie (Dad is such a soft touch), and CDs for Mom – Billy Joel’s Greatest Hits – and Andy – a collection of recent pre-teen favs. (This dad is made of clay! Just mold me.) Total damages: $279.53. 

Actually, we rarely go shopping as a family anymore. Everybody but me needed additions to his or her wardrobes. After Target, we went to Penney’s to get pants and shirts for the boys. Andy’s growing out of his current pairs of JNCO jeans, and Eddie has rips and tears and shredded threads in the right knee – not the left knee, only the right knee; why is that? – of most of his jeans. Andy picked out three pair of baggy jeans, while Eddie selected two pairs of form-fitting jeans. While the boys were trying on these clothes, a mother of a seven-year-old trying on pants complained to me about her son’s choice of style. He emerged from one of the fitting rooms wearing a baggy pair of black jeans with white stitching all over the place. From the look on his face, you could tell that he thought that he was Mr. Cool, but Mom had a different opinion, which she was obviously hesitant to share with him, and I didn’t feel it was my place to confirm. I shared with her the difference between a baggy 11-year-old Andy and a form-fitting 8-year-old Eddie. My philosophy is Let Kids Be Kids, a point of view that requires parents to give their children the space to explore their own individuality.

By the time we got home, we had 15 minutes to get ready for church. After mass, I drove Andy to Verona. During a family conference Friday evening, we agreed that Andy could have a sleepover at Tim’s house. Originally, JoAnna and I had made plans to go out to dinner Saturday evening, which meant that we expected Andy needed to stay home with Eddie. Mom approved the Andy’s sleepover request, forgetting about our previous plans. Although JoAnna was ready to rescind her request, I thought we should give Andy the benefit of the doubt. Why should he be punished for his parents’ mistake? I said. As a result, Eddie accompanied us to Imperial Garden last night. We had dinner with Ted and Dorothy Shannon, 80-year-old friends of ours from Middleton. At first, he wasn’t too happy with this turn of events, especially our choice of restaurant – Chinese -- but he made his parents very proud with his mature behavior during the three hours we spent at the restaurant. Having him bring along his sketchbook and some colored pencils helped to keep him occupied during what he considered the slower stretches of the evening.

The other morning while I was exercising on the Walkfit, SportsCenter spent almost 10 minutes on the Clemens-Wells trade. Everyone thinks the Yankees are going to be even better than last year. But let’s take a closer look at this situation. David Cone: old, in baseball terms, and with a suspect arm. Andy Pettitte: subpar 1998 season; unfulfilled promise; Hideo (?) Irabu: he’s never lived up to the hype that accompanied his rookie season. And Clemens is no spring chicken. Unlike Wells, he’s such a selfish player, someone who won’t add anything to team camaraderie. Personally, I think the Yankees are fooling themselves if they think they’re going to walk through the season to another World Series championship. Steinbrenner and Torre and the rest of the team just don’t realize what a fluke it is to win 125 games in a full season of baseball. This is not the 1950s. What goes up must come down. 

Sunday evening

Andy is at the health club. JoAnna is attending a Renew 2000 meeting, a discussion group associated with St. Bernard’s. Eddie is playing in his newly rearranged bedroom, unknowingly waiting for me to tell him it’s time to take a shower. And then we’ll read for 15 minutes.

But first I want to finish this letter.

Andy played his final regular-season game of the year. Middleton played against a Mount Horeb team from the other Tri-County League of 5th grade teams. From the look of the opponents – some big guys on the team as far as height and/or weight was concerned – I thought our guys would get a run for their money. Once the game was underway, though, it was obviously that Middleton was the more talented and better coached team. Andy played a great game, pulling down his usual share of rebounds and scoring six points on aggressive drives to the basket. He looked to be in playoff form. Middleton won, by the way, 41-27.

After the game, the families gathered at Kit’s Korner, a sports bar located halfway between Mount Horeb and Middleton. The fact that every player and his family showed up was an indication of what a positive experience this basketball season has been for everyone. With video games lining the walls, all the parents were fishing in their pockets or purses for loose quarters. If none of those were available, then dollar bills were extracted from their wallets. One of the moms ordered a sheet cake with all the players and coaches names on it. The two coaches were also presented with gift certificates in appreciation of their many volunteer hours – two practices a week in December and two practices and two games a week throughout January and February.

Once we returned home, we rearranged the furniture in Andy’s bedroom. Now it looks as though he has 50% more space – and 100% neater. The latter condition may not last that long, knowing Andy’s habits. 

I baked a banana bread this morning and just took out the last pan of cookies out of the oven. I made the usual chocolate chip dough, but due to the boys’ fussiness and JoAnna’s Lenten denial, I divided it into three bowls: one with chocolate chips (for the boys), one with peanuts (for JoAnna, since she’s given up chocolate for Lent), and one with both extra ingredients. (I’m not about to deny myself my favorite cookie.) 

Time for me to get Eddie into the shower. I’m also waiting for Andy’s phone call for taxi service from the health club to home. He must be having a good time there. In the meantime, I’ll watch a black-and-white rerun of (“Let’s all play”) What’s My Line?

On This Date in 1999 (February 19)

JoAnna starts her new job in the Department of Justice on Monday, March 1st. I think she’s looking forward to getting back into a go-to-work routine, as opposed to her current work-at-home routine. She has experienced firsthand one of the major drawbacks of working at home. You’re always available. Your office hours are all the time you spend at home. Morning, noon, and night. Evenings and weekends. As JoAnna complained the other evening, “It seems like I don’t have free time anymore.” Since she’s been working on Shirley Abrahamson’s election campaign, JoAnna gets phone calls from 7:30 a.m. until 9:30 p.m. Boy, has our phone been ringing a lot lately!

As a result of JoAnna’s new employment, our spring break getaway has been cancelled. Maybe next year. Even though Shirley now has a bona fide campaign manager on board, JoAnna is still coordinating her fundraising efforts. Between that responsibility and her new job, I think she would find it difficult to leave the state for a week, especially when the spring election falls on the day after we had planned to return from baby Richard’s christening in Tamaqua. Now I’m debating whether or not the boys and I should make a trip to Warren. With the Richard family reunion in Louisiana this August, I don’t see many opportunities to travel to Pennsylvania during the summer. Mom would be very disappointed if there was a gap of a year between our visits. It would be very painful for her to go that long without seeing her precious grandsons. Last March, JoAnna was busy with Brian Manthey’s special election, which kept her at home while the boys and I spent some time in Warren and Chicago. I bet the boys wouldn’t mind an instant replay of last year’s road trip. Dad wouldn’t either, for that matter. I’ve already requested the time off, so I don’t have to worry about missing anything at the library.

It looks as though Andy’s basketball season is going to be extended an additional week. Going into the final weekend of the regular season, Middleton’s record is 12 wins and 1 loss. Tomorrow and Sunday they play nonconference teams, i.e., teams they didn’t play this season. Next weekend they play in the Tri-County League tournament. The add-on is a tournament the following weekend (March 5-7) in Oregon (not the state!!, the suburb of Madison, although if it were an all-expenses paid trip to Portland or Eugene, I’d volunteer to be the team mascot.) By the middle of March, Andy and his teammates will have played in close to 25 games, quite a full schedule for fifth graders.

Andy continues to bring home good grades. His class has been studying the southeastern states in Social Studies, and he did a report on Georgia. His teacher attached a very flattering note to his assignment, for which he earned an “A”. She was very pleased that he provided more information than was required.

Eddie and the other scouts in his troop received their Wolf badges last night at the annual Blue & Gold Cub Scout banquet. He was so proud of himself. His den also put on a skit, about the benefits of eating a healthy lunch. Eddie delivered his lines with gusto. JoAnna helped to coordinate all the set-up activities: coordinating volunteer assignments and getting the tables set up, covered and decorated. I think she originally agreed to do this when she thought she was going to have more time on her hands, but she managed to fit this commitment seamlessly into her schedule which, of course, should be no surprise to anyone.

Larry called the other day with the news that Sheri (or however she spells her name) is engaged. JoAnna thought she might have been using Larry to get this other guy jealous so that he’d pop the question. From JoAnna’s half of the conversation, it sounds like Larry is planning to come back to Wisconsin. She suggested he look into the Department of Corrections, since they were blessed with such a big (obscenely so) increase in the Governor’s budget. She thinks they’ll be needing additional computer operations employees.

We’re experiencing another cold spell, nothing subzero, but during the day the temperature barely gets out of the 20s, a breeze always making it feel colder, and at night it falls into the teens. JoAnna and Andy sleep with an extra blanket or comforter over them. Eddie and I must be the hot-blooded ones in the family.

JoAnna is talking about flying to Louisiana for the reunion this summer, especially since it takes place over a weekend. If we drive, we’d have to leave in the middle of the weekend. The boys and I were a little disappointed to hear this as we were looking forward to a road trip in a recreational vehicle. I checked the mileage between Madison and Lafayette on the Internet, using Mapquest, an interactive atlas. Lafayette is actually 75 miles farther away from us than Colorado Springs. Considering the short duration of the reunion – three days – I guess flying might be the better option, unless some other destinations are incorporated into this trip. Once again, though, JoAnna’s new job might impact on any expanded plans. It’s likely that in August she’ll still be in her probationary period, which means she’ll have to get a dispensation to use any vacation time.

We haven’t decided what we’re doing with the boys this summer, at least I don’t remember JoAnna and I making a formal decision. At this point, we’re leaning to letting the boys stay home on their own. I’m sure we wouldn’t consider this option if I didn’t work so close to home. Andy and Eddie have shown themselves to be very responsible the times we have left them home alone during the past six months. We haven’t had to use a sitter since last spring, our summer get-togethers always being family-oriented. Nevertheless, I still have some reservations about leaving them on their own, day in, day out, all summer long. JoAnna and I would have to set up some very firm ground rules. And, if it turned out that the boys needed more supervision, it would be hard to get them into a program halfway, or whatever, through the summer. Last spring, we registered the boys late, a couple months after the program brochure for the Camp of the Trails program at Sauk Trail school here in Middleton was first distributed, and, as a result, some of the programs Andy wanted to participate in were already full. But let me put this all in perspective. In less than five years, we’ll be worried about whether Andy returns home with the car in one piece. 

Hope this letter finds the both of you doing well and enjoying the desert warmth. We send you our love.

On This Date in 1999 (February 14)

It’s a very springlike afternoon – warm and breezy with lots of sunshine. After I finish this letter, I think I’ll ask Andy if he wants to play catch, get an early warm-up for the baseball season. Actually, it’s not too early to think about it. We received a postcard in the mail last week announcing that the baseball registration starts on February 22nd.

After today, JoAnna should be able to reduce her work load on Shirley’s campaign. Right now she’s talking with the person who agreed to take on the duties of campaign manager until the election. JoAnna will now, hopefully, be able to limit her activities to fundraising.

Three weeks from today, the library will open on Sunday for the first time ever. Our schedule of 1:00 to 5:00 p.m. will run through the Sunday before the Memorial Day weekend and then resume on the Sunday after Labor Day. I plan to work the first three Sundays just to get a sense of how things are working. We expect that it will probably be the busiest four hours of the week as far as circulation and people in the library are concerned. Last week I offered the position of Young Adult Services Librarian to our second choice of the five candidates we interviewed. Our first choice, a very dynamic and personable woman whose has been working in or for school libraries for the past 15 years, turned us down because we couldn’t offer her enough money, although it’s not like we made a secret of the salary when we advertised the job. Her dilemma was compounded by the fact that she would be moving from a full-time to 3/4s time job. She thought she might be able to work out some free-lancing training opportunities on the side, but that opportunity never materialized during the five-day extension I gave her to give us a final decision. Our second choice might actually be a better fit for the job. She’s a recently library school graduate (1997) who served in the Peace Corps, in Palau, a Micronesian island, for three years and also has a storytelling background. Rebecca was too modest during her interview, the three of us on the selection committee felt. Eve, our children’s librarian, attempted to draw her out a couple times when she seemed to be holding back. Although she looked very calm on the outside, she could have been suffering from a severe case of nerves on the inside. At least one candidate we talked with had a rash covering most of her neck by the end of her interview. It’s been 13 years since my last job interview, the one that landed me in Middleton. Because of my extensive public-speaking experience over the past decade, though, I think I’d handle this situation well. Not that I’m planning to test the waters. After all, the library board worked very hard to get me that big raise. What a slap in the face it would be to turn around and say, “Thanks, but I’m moving on to bigger and better challenges.”

Two more basketball victories this weekend. Middleton trounced DeForest yesterday, an away game, 65-33. In today’s game, at home against Stoughton, whom Middleton beat in a 31-30 thriller a few weeks ago, our guys got off to a very slow start, scoring only 3 (that’s not a typo) points in the first quarter. Stoughton didn’t do much better, managing only 8 points, their guys probably as nervous as our guys, knowing that this was going to be a hard-fought game. Middleton ended with a one-point lead at halftime and went on to win by 10 points, 33-23. The regular season concludes next week, followed by a tournament in two weeks. The month of March should provide us with a sports breather until the first soccer practices are scheduled after spring break. Because he chose to play football last fall, Andy will play in a recreational league, which doesn’t involve as many games or much travel as the soccer leagues where the kids try out.

I’ve become the chocolate chip cookie king as far as baking is concerned. I usually make a batch every Sunday evening. This past week they lasted until Saturday because I put nuts in them, much to the boys’ chagrin, and JoAnna has been counting her calories, a little disappointed that she hasn’t last more weight since starting her regular visits to the health club. The batch I made this past week was almost as good as yours, Mom! I prepared the dough and then refrigerated it for a couple hours. It made a big difference in the texture of the cookies. Today I’ll think I’ll add peanuts to the dough, or at least to half the dough, although when I just asked Eddie, whose a knight in shining armor for today’s imaginary play, he thought the peanuts would be OK.

In case you’re wondering, I’m feeling much better today. In fact, I was up and about early Friday afternoon. I went grocer y shopping before picking up the boys at school, did a couple loads of laundry, and tidied up a very messy house. Between Eddie and JoAnna, this place, until Saturday morning, looked like it should qualify for disaster aid.

It’s almost 3:30 and I feel like I should be doing something outside. There’s a scattering of branches in the back yard that could be picked up. Or I could walk to the grocery store to get shake-and-bake, at JoAnna’s request, for the pork chops I took out of the freezer earlier today. By saying I’d get that ingredient, I probably volunteered to make supper. We went out to eat last night, after attending 5 o’clock mass as a family, a weekly family activity that JoAnna has made mandatory. (Going to church, that is. Eating out is an occasional treat.) We went to the Bavaria, a locally-owned, “family-style” restaurant just a block from the library, one of a handful of “downtown” – what little of it there is -- Middleton success stories. With a new restaurant opening up in April, giving us 6 in a square-block area, the library’s neighborhood is turning into quite a dining district.

I wonder how long the impeachment post-mortems will last. I’m sure CNBC and Fox News will try to milk these proceedings and the aftermath for every last drop, but I won’t be there to see it, except for those few occasions when I’m surfing, not in the mood to read anymore, not quite ready to go to bed. Monicagate, as it’s been dubbed, has become an industry. For some people, it will be analogous to closing a military base. Some people may say we don’t need this, but my job is at stake.

We had a letter from Alice and Larry this past week. They are still living in the trailer that Alice’s brother owns. It sounds like they haven’t made an effort to find any other accommodations, which I told JoAnna would be the case. She cashed in the bonds she received from her grandmother and gave her folks the money as a Christmas gift. Doesn’t sound like they’ve been doing much of anything other than hanging around that godforsaken piece of desert in Buckeye, 2½ miles from the nearest paved highway. Did I ever show you pictures of this place? JoAnna and I and the boys spent our first and last night in Arizona there two years ago. That’s all we could have taken. Fortunately, we had a detailed itinerary for the other nine days we were there. 

That’s all for now. We send you our love. The boys thank you for the Valentine’s Day cards.

On This Date in 1999 (February 6)

The boys brought home great report cards this week. JoAnna and I had some doubts about how Andy was going to do – he never seems to have any homework – but his second quarter grades demonstrate that he’s been keeping up with his assignments, for the most part.

Here’s a comparison of Andy’s first and second quarter grades:

Subject             1st 2nd
Reading              B- B+
Math                  B- B
Spelling              B  A 
Language Arts    B  B
Social Studies     A  A
Science              A- B+

He improved his grades in three subjects, but went down ever so slightly in science. Too bad he couldn’t have maintained that A-. Within each subject, students are rated on areas where strength is shown (+), areas where progress is satisfactory (o), and areas where improvement is needed (a check mark – I can’t find the symbol in any of the font styles). Under Reading, four of the five boxes have a plus sign. In Math, he has a check mark with a plus sign for “understands graphs and tables”, “can solve story problems”, and “completes work on time”. Mrs. Ball, Andy’s classroom teacher was not sure what that combination of symbols meant. The three 5th grade classes at Elm Lawn are grouped according to ability for math instruction. Andy has Mrs. Wellman for this subject. Actually, his only solo check mark is found under Language Arts, “completes assigned work on time”, which was a big problem with Andy in 4th grade, an area where he has shown great improvement. Under “Individual Development”, which addresses classroom behavior and social skills, he received an “S” (for satisfactory) in all categories except one, where his effort grade = P (for Progress Shown). No surprise here. “Shows self control.” After all, he has some Richard blood in him, although this attribute could easily be traced to his dad. I certainly lacked self control in Mrs. Duff’s second-grade class and, occasionally, during those marathon wiffle ball games at the Jefferson Street schoolyard.

At a conference with Andy’s teacher on Wednesday, Mrs. Ball had only good things to report about his academic achievement and classroom deportment. Last year Andy had what I can only describe as an attitude problem, and I wonder if it had to do with the fact that things didn’t really seem to click with his teacher. JoAnna and I thought he might have leap-frogged into his sullen teen-age years. He didn’t turn into a model student at the beginning of fifth grade, but so far this year, he is swiftly moving in that direction. This past week, he actually read two books on his own, i.e., not because he had to write a book report for school, going to his bedroom on his own around 8:15 and reading for an hour.

When I first looked at Eddie’s report card, I let out an audible gasp.

Oh my god, I thought, we have big problem here. Eddie has three “D’s”.

Upon closer inspection, I discovered that second graders receive different achievement grades than 5th graders.

Here’s Eddie’s scale:

B = Beginning. The child is working toward completing tasks independently and showing understanding of the skill or concept.

D = Developing. The child shows some understanding and independence. S = Secure. The child can apply the skills or concept correctly and independently.

M = Modified program (such as the special education reading and language arts classes that Eddie takes.)

Once I processed this information, I quickly realized that Eddie is having a great year academically. Here’s how his grades stack up:

Subject           1st      2nd
Reading           M/B   M/D
Language Arts  M/B   M/D
Spelling            M/B   M/D
Science/Health   S+      S+
Social Studies    S+      S+

Under Reading, he received a check mark (needs improvement) for “reads fluently”, although here, we have noticed at home, he is making great improvement. I checked out from the library some easy reader books for him last month, titles by highly regarded children’s authors (Arnold Lobel, Lillian Hoban), and he has been enjoying them immensely, eagerly reading and re-reading them, which has really improved his confidence and fluency.

At our conference with Mrs. Magnuson, Eddie’s classroom teacher, and Mrs. Hoskins, his reading teacher, we heard nothing but high praise. Mrs. Magnuson said that Eddie has made great strides both scholastically and socially. She mentioned that he has such wonderful comments to add to the classroom discussion, especially in science. His reading teacher says he’s made such great progress this year that she wants to move him up with the small group of 3rd graders she works with. When we talked to him about this, Eddie had some initial reservations, most notably, leaving a group of kids he knows (and has been able to routinely outshine, which may or may not have anything to do with his decision-making process. Just something that popped into my mind.)

In other areas of the school curriculum, Eddie also received excellent reports. Elm Lawn’s art teacher noted that “Eddie is doing very well in art class, very outstanding drawing skills.” The school’s music teacher noted , “singing tonal patterns so well in tune”.

Middleton gained a measure of revenge against Sauk Prairie by winning their 10th game of the season yesterday, 31-21. The game was actually much closer than the final score indicates. Andy didn’t score any points, but he played great defense against an opponent who was at least three inches taller than him.

Eddie’s been sick all weekend. His fever has been as high as 101 degrees. He seems to be doing a little bit better today, so we hope he’ll be able to attend school tomorrow. He’s spent the weekend in our bedroom, watching TV, drinking orange juice and water, eating toast and cereal. He slept with Mom last night, since we wanted to keep a close watch on him. I slept in Eddie’s bed, which made me feel as though I was a single man again.

JoAnna’s parents called last night, but we didn’t have much of an opportunity to talk to them. We kept losing our connection. It was our first contact with them since they first arrived in Arizona. I told JoAnna this was going to happen. She gave her parents about $800 at Christmas to go towards the rent for an apartment in a more accessible area of the Phoenix metropolitan area, as opposed to the remote scrabble of sand where Alice’s twin brother lives, where their trailer accommodations are located. JoAnna was livid after the second disconnect. Because of her dad’s previous stroke, she worries about another medical emergency and how quickly he could be attended to. Where Larry and Alice are staying now, 2½ miles of washboard dirt road from a main highway, he’d be at the mercy of the angels. Ever since Alice first announced last October that she and Larry would be spending the winter in Arizona, this has been a sore point between JoAnna and her Mom. It almost seems as though the bond between twins – Alice and her brother Albert – is stronger than the bond among family. I stay in the background on this one, even though I think Alice is taking advantage of the situation. Isolation is not a word in Larry’s vocabulary. He thrives on interacting with people and where they live in Arizona is a mecca for hermits. 

Stay tuned for further reports.

Ono This Date in 1999 (February 5)

Andy played a Friday evening basketball game for a change of pace. JoAnna wasn’t able to attend the game since Eddie is sick. She got a call from Elm Lawn school around 2 o’clock this afternoon. Eddie complained about not feeling well this morning and did have sort of a phlegmy cough, I noticed, as he was getting dressed. After some breakfast, though, cereal and toast, which is more than he usually eats at this time of day, he seemed to be OK. When the school nurse took his temperature, the thermometer registered 99.7, so he was running just a slight fever. This evening Middleton traveled to Waunakee, located about 7 miles north of us.

This game was a rematch, Middleton trouncing the opposition 40-18 in their first match-up. Tonight was even more of a mismatch, despite the fact that our guys got off to their usual sluggish start. Final score: 57-23. Andy scored 6 points on three nearly identical plays where he authoritatively dribbled to the basket and shot an easy lay-up, using the backboard, as Mom is always telling him to do. Middleton’s record is now 9-1. Tomorrow they have a rematch with the only team to beat them, Sauk Prairie, who held them to a season-low 23 points. It should be an exciting game. 

Andy and I stopped at Subway on the way home. At first, I wasn’t going to order anything for myself, since there was some leftover beef stew, an outstanding concoction made with our Midwest secret ingredient, Pelligrino’s peppers, that JoAnna had prepared in the crockpot on Wednesday. Andy pointed to a larger-than-life picture of a chicken fajita sub and said, “Dad, you’d probably like that.” I caved. As soon as we returned home, JoAnna, who had spent most of the day on her fanny, went to the health club. She missed last night due to a mailing she had to get ready for today so I imagined she’ll give herself an extra push tonight. Andy is playing video hockey. With the announcers’ voices and the crowd noise, it almost sounds like the real McCoy. Eddie, who seems to be perking up a little bit, is watching the simulated hockey action while playing with some of his military toys. 

Because of this weekend’s altered basketball schedule, Sunday will be a game-free day. What will we do? It’s supposed to get warmer through next Tuesday – up into the mid-50s, so maybe we’ll tackle that garage reorganization project that we postponed last weekend. At this rate, all of our snow is going to be gone by Tuesday. We’re supposed to have an early spring since Wisconsin’s version of Punxsatawny Pete, nothing but a pretender, of course, didn’t see his shadow on Groundhog’s Day.

On This Date in 1999 (February 3)

Andy’s basketball team is doing quite well. I haven’t seen any team standings, but Middleton’s record is 8 wins and 1 loss, which would insure them at least a tie for first place since none of the teams is undefeated. For the past couple weekends, Middleton has fallen behind early, having a tough time getting revved up in the first quarter. They always manage to overcome this deficit and hang onto a thrilling come-from behind victory. Last Saturday, they won 40-34 in overtime, after being down by 9 points at the end of the first quarter. On Sunday, they won 45-41, after being down 12-5 after the first quarter. Andy doesn’t score a lot of points, but he’s an excellent rebounder and manages a steal every now and then. The ten kids on the Middleton team all bring something to the game. It’s a solid, well-balanced group of players. 

JoAnna been making great use of her birthday present. With a few exceptions so far this year, she spends at least an hour each evening working out at the Harbor Athletic Club. The results are already noticeable: baggier jeans, a trimmer shape. One or both of the boys sometime accompany her. Andy likes to shoot hoops in the gym. Eddie actually works out on some of the equipment or goes to the pool. Since I’m still doing my 20 minutes of Walkfit every morning, I haven’t paid a visit to the club yet. 

My mom has been in a letter-writing mood lately. We’ve received two letters from her during the past week. I don’t know if it’s the effect of my letters but she’s been in more of a reminiscent mood lately, remembering her reactions to various family incidents that occurred when I was a kid. My dad’s not doing too well. He fell recently and since that time has complained of a pain in his tailbone. Larry and Kim were visiting one evening, and Dad didn’t recognize who they were. As Mom wrote, “he’s out of it more lately.”

On This Date in 1999 (January 30)

We stayed out until 11:30. JoAnna and I came out even playing cards. She won $10; I lost $10, $4 in one hand. Double on the bump, as they say in sheepshead lingo, which I’m not about to explain to you. Just let me say that the great hand I thought I had wasn’t good enough.

The boys were still up when we returned home, still handling the controls of the Playstation game. They are really into this electronic toy. I probably should have paid it for babysitting.

Andy’s basketball game (the real, live version) went into overtime. The first quarter didn’t seem to promise this kind of excitement, Middleton scoring only one basket and trailing 8-2 after the first 7 minutes of play. They showed a little bit of improvement in the second quarter, outscoring their opponents 9-8, but still behind 16-11. Our guys kept chipping away at the lead so by the fourth quarter each of the team’s best guns, Johnny Strnad for Middleton, and no. 21 for Madison West, scored baskets at will. Middleton was down 34-32 with a 9 seconds left when Andy Frasier drove in for a lay-up to tie the score. In the 3-minute overtime period, Middleton nailed down a victory by holding their opponents scoreless. Final score 40-34. The fans on both sides of the bleachers were on their feet at the end of the game. It was a well-played and well-coached game, a gratifying win for Middleton, a tough loss for Madison.



Super Bowl Sunday, and I’m sitting in the family room, alone, in front of the computer, with the TV off. Shouldn’t I be arrested or something? Eddie’s in the kitchen watching the Sylvester and Tweety Bowl on the Cartoon Network. Now there’s an inspired example of counter-programming. JoAnna’s taking a nap, the TV in the bedroom tuned to American Movie Classics. Andy’s the only member of the family who’s getting into the spirit of this special day in sports. He and some other friends were invited to watch the game at Tim’s house, Tim’s weekend house, that is, where he lives with the mom and stepdad in Verona, about a 15-minute drive from here. The group gathered there will watch the game on a big-screen TV.

We’ve enjoyed an almost spring-like weekend with lots of sunshine and temperature approaching the 40-degree mark. In spite of this thaw, we still have at least a 4-inch cover of snow on the ground, as I look out the sliding-glass doors to my left and inspect the back yard. JoAnna and I never did complete the task of organizing the garage that was on our to-do list yesterday. I couldn’t think of a compelling reason to jump the gun on spring cleaning. I preferred to stretch out on the couch and get back into the book I’m currently reading. Saving Grace, by Lee Smith, tells the story of a charismatic backwoods preachers in North Carolina who specializes in serpent-handling during his “performances”. The story is told from the point of view of his daughter. I think you might enjoy this book, Mom. The author very effectively recreates the crackling atmosphere of a rural revival service, as well as the struggles of an itinerant family living on the cusp of poverty. Smith has written about 8 novels. The only other one of hers I’ve read is The Devil’s Dream, somewhat of a fictionalized biography of the country singer Patsy Cline, at least that’s how it impressed me.

Andy’s team won another nail-biter this afternoon against Mount Horeb, 45-41. Middleton is turning into quite a scrappy team. Today they were down 12-5 after the first quarter but fought their way back to take a 1-point lead at the half. They have become a never-say-die team.

On This Date in 1999 (January 29)

Another Friday night. They seem to come around so quickly. Andy’s at basketball practice, of course. JoAnna went to the health club, Eddie reneging on his promise to accompany Mom, much to her disappointment. In fact, she was ready to ground him, but I told her that was a little severe. Right now, Eddie’s in the kitchen watching TV and playing with the little plastic infantry and cannon pieces from our Risk board game. He has them set up in neat rows. Who knows what goes on in his head sometimes!

I left work early today as I had put in long hours on Monday and Tuesday. Since the weather was on the mild side, I decided to begin a clean-up of the garage. My first task was to put the captain’s chairs back in the van, which freed up some much needed space to park the van. I cleared off the counter along the west wall of the garage and then checked the contents of some of the boxes in which we have stored various odds and ends. JoAnna said she’d help me complete the task tomorrow. She told me late this afternoon, “I need to do something where I don’t have to think.” This week’s campaign activities have kept her very busy. She worked 15 hours on Wednesday and could have easily put in the same amount of time yesterday, but she ran out of gas after a visit to the health club.

Andy’s looking forward to the rest of the evening after basketball practice. JoAnna and I are going to the Erpenbach’s to play cards so he’ll be able to earn some money babysitting.

“How late are you going to stay out?” he asked me as soon as he learned about the card party. 

“Oh, we’ll probably be home around ten,” I replied, trying to keep a straight face.

“You can stay out later than that,” he said as he practiced his multiplication. 2 (hours) x3 ($/hr.) =$6. 3x3=$9. 3x4=$12. 3x5=$15.

Andy and I experienced a moment of role reversal. Son gives Mom and Dad permission to stay out late.

On This Date in 1999 (January 24)

Well, I didn’t get much of a start yesterday. Having to get ready for Andy’s basketball game interrupted my progress.

Our weekend has completely revolved around basketball. Friday evening I dropped him off at his 6 o’clock practice, then returned home to keep Eddie company until JoAnna returned home from the health club. By then, it was time for me to make the rounds for dinner – McDonald’s for Eddie, Grand China for JoAnna, Pasqual’s for Andy and me – before picking up Andy, his cheeks full of color after an invigorating 90 minutes of drills, running, and a scrimmage.

One of the reasons yesterday was such a lazy day is that our primary focus was Andy’s basketball game, a later start than usual. 4:15 p.m. Plus we had a half-hour drive to Stoughton in less than ideal conditions. When we left the house, a crusty frosting of snow covered the streets and sidewalks in our neighborhood, but the main roads were more passable, fortunately.

Andy’s team got off to a sluggish start, scoring only 4 points in the first quarter, and trailing by a score of 17-11 at the half. They kept themselves in the second half of the game with some aggressive defense and improved shooting. The final score was 31-30, an absolute thriller of a game, with Middleton able to hold onto a one-point lead for the final 30 seconds of the game. They held Stoughton to a single point in the 4th quarter. Andy played well, grabbing his usual numbers of rebounds but he didn’t score any points.

Once we returned home, we ordered pizza and sat in the front of the TV for the Wisconsin-Iowa game. The Big Ten is very competitive this year, with seven teams in the Top 25 rankings, though none of them in the top ten. Iowa and Wisconsin are ranked 14th and 15th, respectively this week, so this game was built up as a major showdown, as well as being a battle for sole possession of second place in the conference standings. An additional element of drama was the presence of Sam Okey, former Badger who now plays for the Hawkeyes. Okey was the most highly-regarded and sought-after Wisconsin high-school basketball player three-four years ago, and the fact that he chose Wisconsin made a lot of people think that our years of basketball mediocrity were over. A funny thing happened on the way to the NCAA Final Four. It turned out that coach Dick Bennett and his highly regarded recruit didn’t get along. Most of the blame has to be placed on Okey, a prima-donna type of player who craved the attention that came his way but didn’t know how to effectively deal with it. He left the team in the middle of last season, a disastrous one from start to finish for the Badgers. This year, without Okey, the team is playing as good if not better than the expectations that were pinned on them three years ago.

Last night, Okey got the crowd fired up with an early slam-dunk, but otherwise the game was all Badgers, who rolled to a very impressive 72-52 victory. They might finds themselves in the top ten in next week’s poll.

More basketball today. But first we went to church, 11 o’clock mass at St. Bernards and attended their spaghetti dinner afterwards. We had about an hour and a half of “free time” before traveling to Andy’s game. I stretched out on the coach and continued reading the book of short stories I started last week, The Summer Before the Summer of Love, by Marly Swick, a very observant writer. She creates some wonderfully interesting characters in these stories. I must admit that I dozed off for about 20 minutes, which left me just enough time to complete one story.

Another exciting game today. This was a rematch with Verona, whom Middleton beat handily (40-17, I think) in their first game of the season. Verona looked much improved, although Middleton did built a ten-point lead by half-time. Verona chipped away determinedly, but either a turnover by them or a key basket by Middleton allowed us to maintain at least a 5-point cushion. In fact, that was the margin of victory, 37-32. Andy played a lot of minutes, the entire first quarter, in fact. He grabbed 8 or 9 rebounds and scored 4 points on the boards. Only his defense in the last minute of the game looked a little suspect. He let his guy drive by him and score a basket both times. Overall, though, it was the best game he’s played this season so far.

I guess I started supper too soon. Everything was ready 15 minutes ago, but JoAnna and Andy haven’t returned from the health club yet. I baked boneless chicken breasts, brushing two of them with soy sauce, since the two side dishes I’ve prepared are rice and a Birds-Eye stir-fry vegetable medley, an item that a newspaper coupon encouraged me to buy. Everything’s on warm, so I’m sure it’ll taste all right. The boys will probably eat just the chicken, although I think Andy has tried rice before without grimacing.

We’ve had more snow today, close to an inch, enough so that I’m going to have to shovel off the sidewalk and driveway later this evening. The dirty gray snow that made everything look so ugly has now been covered by a thin blanket of white.

It’s Monday morning, with no time to add anything substantial to this letter. I want to get your belated card in the mail before I go to work, but before I do that I still need to take a shower, get dressed, and rouse the boys out of bed.

On This Date in 1999 (January 23, part 1)

JoAnna just got out of the shower, where I need to go next, and the boys are watching TV. It’s another gray day in Wisconsin, and, as a result of last night’s freezing drizzle, everything outdoors is covered with a sheet of ice. I wanted to walk to Walgreen’s since we’re low on paper products, but I’m not sure I’d make there unscathed.

Andy has a late basketball game today – 4:45 starting time – and we have no particular plans, outside of little housecleaning, between now and then. I’d should write a letter to my parents, and, believe it or not, I still have three Christmas card notes to write. I should be embarrassed to send the cards, but I will anyway, since I know that the three couples who receive them will understand my procrastination. Andy’s team is playing quite well. They have a 4-1 won-lost record at this point in the season. They play 16 games altogether. The team is very well-balanced. Everyone contributes. They don’t have a ball hog; neither do they have a player who seemed to make the team because his parents were friends of the coach. Andy hasn’t scored a lot of points so far this season, but he’s an excellent rebounder. He’s probably close to the team lead in that category. 

Today was the last day of the second quarter. Report cards are distributed next Friday. We’ve had some concerns about Andy’s academic performance. He never seems to have any homework. The other day, though, he brought home a colorful half-sheet of paper that said, “Andy Nelson is one great student. Mid-year reading test – 96%!” I think he received a 90%+ on one of his other mid-year exams. That’s the kind of news we like to find in Andy’s school take-home folder. 

Eddie’s reading skills seem to be improving. We work with him every night, and the special classes at school certainly make a difference. Eddie is probably going to require close attention in this area for at least another couple years. JoAnna and I are just thankful that the school district offers this type of program. Otherwise, Eddie would be one of those kids who fall through the cracks. We enjoyed your letter and hope that everything is going well for you in Arizona. It’s nice that you have some transportation; that should help you feel less isolated. 

We send you our love.

On This Date in 1999 (January 22)

It 5:15 on a Friday afternoon, what a great time of the week, especially when I can look over the past five days and feel that I accomplished everything I wanted to do. At least at work, that is. The house is in a state of disarray, a situation JoAnna and I will probably address tomorrow. Now that both boys come home right after school, they have more time to trash the place, legos here, toy soldiers there, the signs of their presence everywhere. “Clean up this mess!” is an order that JoAnna and I frequently bark.

The house was quiet when I returned home from the library, which struck me as odd since both boys were supposed to be here. They didn’t run off somewhere, to Meaghan’s house, I wondered. 

Walking through the living room, I noticed that the bathroom door was closed. As I knocked, I announced my presence,

“Hello, I’m home. Who’s in there?”

“It’s me, Dad,” Andy replied.

“Where’s Eddie?” I asked.

“In the bathroom,” I thought he said.

“What Eddie doing in there?” I demanded, my hand about to reach for the door handle.

“In the back room,” he said, carefully enunciating the last two words.

“I didn’t see him there.”

“Well, maybe he’s in the other bathroom.”

That’s where he was.

Eddie called out to me as I walked back into the kitchen. Then he started to describe the details of a picture of an airplane in a book that he was browsing through. His voice was muffled so I couldn’t hear every word he spoke, so I resorted to standard responses like “That’s interesting” or “Cool!”

JoAnna’s had a busy day. In fact, she’s had a busy week. In fact, she’s been very busy ever since she agreed to plan Shirley Abrahamson’s re-election campaign to the Wisconsin Supreme Court. You should be very proud of your daughter. Her name is always at the top of the list of progressive candidates when a campaign manager position needs to be filled. Both Russ Feingold and Rick Phelps wanted her to take on that responsibility in their respective campaigns, i.e. Senate re-election and 2nd Congressional election. She declined both times because she knew she’d have no family life. It was the right decision – both times. In this case, though, JoAnna is freelancing, signing on for three weeks, although I wouldn’t be surprised if Shirley extends her contract for a week or two. So far, JoAnna hasn’t heard anything from the Department of Justice regarding the Legislative Liaison position, which has her name written all over it. Jim Doyle told her that the position wouldn’t be filled until sometime in March.

I just returned from dropping off Andy at his basketball practice. Eddie’s in the bathroom again. I hope everything’s OK. JoAnna and I came down with colds last weekend. Both of us had scratchy throats Saturday morning and from there it progressed to an achy body and runny nose. Neither of us missed any work this week, although I was definitely still on the mend on Monday. Since Tuesday, I’ve just been waiting for my head to clear. I think I have another day or two to reach that goal. Andy stayed home from school Wednesday morning. He was in an ornery mood on Tuesday, probably due to his feeling out of sorts. He wouldn’t get out of bed for band practice, which starts at 7:20 at Kromrey Middle School. We may have been a little harsh with him considering the circumstances, at least from the vantage point of the end of the week, but JoAnna and I told him – no band, no Playstation for a week. We also had an argument over bringing his trumpet home from school, which he routinely refused to do.

“I don’t like carrying it,” he regularly complains.

We talk to him about responsibility, following through on commitments he has made, which probably sounds like so much blah blah blah to him. Maybe not, though. During a Tuesday afternoon outburst, while I was home during a late afternoon break from a long day at the library, Andy was sent to his room and ended up tidying up the bookcase headboard of his captain’s bed. 

He’s still reachable, I told myself. He’s not a teenager yet, in mind or spirit.

Eddie participated in his second annual Pinewood Derby last night. Once again our model couldn’t sprint to the finish line. We were one ounce above the five-ounce legal limit, and it showed in the home stretch. We always got off to a good start on the slope but ran out of gas on the flat homestretch. Once again, Eddie won “Best Overall Design, which I think should go to Dad. I admit that Eddie created his design on paper, but I sawed and sanded the block, and then reminded Eddie every day for ten days, “You need to put the primer coat of paint on your car,” “You need to paint your car,” “You need to put the decals on your car.” “You need to put the wheels on your car.” 

“Dad, you’re taking this too serious,” was his usual response.

Not as serious as many other dads, it appeared to me as I saw the line-up of cars on weigh-in day. Our entry was the result of two to three hours of work. Some of the cars, though, looked as though they had been designed by professionals, untold hours of planning, design, and development.

I’m sure you’re eager to hear about the weather in Wisconsin. Earlier this week, we had close to a foot of snow on the ground, which since Wednesday has dissolved to half that depth due to a couple days of rain. Everything looks so ugly now. I can’t believe I’m saying this, but I’d actually prefer another foot of snow. It’s Wisconsin. It’s January. I can live with it. For this weekend, the weather sounds like it can’t make up its mind, a mixture of rain and snow in the forecast.

News flash. I just realized that my parents’ anniversary – their 54th – is on the 26th, just four days away. I haven’t bought them a card, so any greeting from us won’t arrive on time, so I’ll have to make sure I order flowers tomorrow. This anniversary offers an interesting perspective. Four years ago, on my parents’ golden anniversary, the celebration was kept lowkey, since by that time, the Parkinson’s had kept my dad pretty much housebound. I know the members of St. Paul’s Lutheran Church, my dad’s parish for 24 years, would have loved to honor my parents with a reception, but Dad was already past the point of dealing with crowds of people.

I did a little research on Parkinson’s after we returned from our recent trip to Warren. It said that those who suffer from this disease can only focus on one activity at a time. For example, this morning, while I was brushing my teeth, I noticed some hairs of JoAnna’s in the sink, so without stopping the movement of my right arm, I grabbed a kleenex with my left hand and wiped the sink clean. Someone with Parkinson’s can’t do that. I suppose it’s the same with conversations and room noise. If there is numerous conversations going on at one time or people talking with the TV droning in the background, nothing makes sense. This, of course, is a layman’s interpretation of a disease I don’t know that much about. A few weeks ago, I kept asking myself, “What really goes on inside the mind of a Parkinson’s sufferer?”, as I observed Dad in his pitifully debilitated state. So far I haven’t been able to find much about someone who is an advanced stage of the disease, which is definitely where my dad is.