What is the right amount of softness, anyway?

And what's with the patterns.

According to an article in yesterday's New York Times, "...fluffiness comes at a price: millions of trees harvested in North America and in Latin American countries, including some percentage of trees from rare old-growth forests in Canada. Although toilet tissue can be made at similar cost from recycled material, it is the fiber taken from standing trees that helps give it that plush feel, and most large manufacturers rely on them."

Let the toilet paper battles begin.